Chapter 25
Timing, Boundaries, and Self-Control

This chapter reveals a fundamental pattern: true power comes from knowing when NOT to act. Solomon shows us that the most successful people aren't those who push hardest, but those who understand timing, boundaries, and the art of strategic restraint. The mechanism is counterintuitive but consistent. When we're eager to prove ourselves, we push forward too aggressively - demanding promotions, oversharing personal drama, or inserting ourselves into every conflict. But this desperation signals weakness, not strength. Like a city with broken walls, we become vulnerable when we can't control our impulses. The person who waits to be invited up, who handles conflicts privately, who knows when to stop talking - they maintain their power because they're not bleeding it away through poor timing. This pattern shows up everywhere in modern life. At work, it's the difference between the employee who constantly asks for raises versus the one whose consistent performance speaks for itself. In healthcare, it's the CNA who doesn't get pulled into every workplace drama versus the one who burns bridges by gossiging about patients or colleagues. In relationships, it's knowing when your friend needs space instead of overwhelming them with texts. On social media, it's the difference between someone who posts every thought versus someone whose rare posts actually get attention. When you recognize this pattern, your navigation strategy becomes clear: pause before you push. Ask yourself - am I acting from strength or desperation? Handle disputes directly with the person involved, not through gossip networks. Set boundaries even with good things - don't overstay your welcome anywhere, including in conversations. Most importantly, develop what Solomon calls self-control - the ability to choose your battles, time your words, and know when enough is enough. This isn't about being passive; it's about being strategic. When you can name the pattern, predict where it leads, and navigate it successfully - that's amplified intelligence. You're not just reacting to life; you're reading the room and making moves that actually work.