Original Text(~250 words)
Stepan Arkadyevitch was a truthful man in his relations with himself. He was incapable of deceiving himself and persuading himself that he repented of his conduct. He could not at this date repent of the fact that he, a handsome, susceptible man of thirty-four, was not in love with his wife, the mother of five living and two dead children, and only a year younger than himself. All he repented of was that he had not succeeded better in hiding it from his wife. But he felt all the difficulty of his position and was sorry for his wife, his children, and himself. Possibly he might have managed to conceal his sins better from his wife if he had anticipated that the knowledge of them would have had such an effect on her. He had never clearly thought out the subject, but he had vaguely conceived that his wife must long ago have suspected him of being unfaithful to her, and shut her eyes to the fact. He had even supposed that she, a worn-out woman no longer young or good-looking, and in no way remarkable or interesting, merely a good mother, ought from a sense of fairness to take an indulgent view. It had turned out quite the other way. “Oh, it’s awful! oh dear, oh dear! awful!” Stepan Arkadyevitch kept repeating to himself, and he could think of nothing to be done. “And how well things were going up till now! how well we got on! She was...
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Summary
Stepan Arkadyich Oblonsky wakes up on his study couch after a fight with his wife Dolly, who discovered his affair with their former French governess. As he slowly comes to consciousness, he tries to recapture a pleasant dream but reality crashes back - his comfortable life is falling apart. He's been married eight years, has five children, and genuinely loves his family, but he also can't resist other women. The chapter reveals Stepan's character: he's charming, well-meaning, but fundamentally selfish and unable to understand why his actions hurt others. He feels sorry for himself rather than truly remorseful, thinking more about his own discomfort than Dolly's pain. This opening establishes one of the novel's central themes - how our choices ripple outward to affect everyone around us. Stepan represents the moral blindness that comes with privilege; he's never had to face real consequences before. His casual attitude toward his marriage vows contrasts sharply with the deep emotional damage he's caused. Tolstoy uses Stepan to show how some people drift through life avoiding responsibility, expecting others to clean up their messes. The domestic crisis also sets up the novel's exploration of what makes a marriage work or fail. While Stepan sees his affair as a momentary pleasure with minimal consequences, Dolly experiences it as a complete betrayal that threatens everything she's built her life around. This gap between how the betrayer and betrayed experience infidelity will echo throughout the novel in different relationships.
That's what happens. To understand what the author is really doing—and to discuss this chapter with confidence—keep reading.
Terms to Know
Russian nobility
The wealthy upper class in 19th-century Russia who owned land and didn't need to work for a living. They lived off inherited wealth and held government positions through family connections rather than merit.
Modern Usage:
Like trust fund kids or people born into wealth who've never had to worry about real consequences for their actions.
Governess
A live-in teacher hired by wealthy families to educate their children at home. These women were usually from middle-class families but had to work for money, putting them in an awkward social position.
Modern Usage:
Similar to a nanny or au pair who lives with the family - someone who's part of the household but not really family, making power dynamics complicated.
Arranged social expectations
In Russian high society, marriages were often about social status and money rather than love. Men were expected to have affairs while women were supposed to ignore them and focus on running the household.
Modern Usage:
Like when people stay in relationships for appearances, financial security, or because 'that's just how things are done' in their social circle.
Moral blindness
When someone can't see how their actions hurt others because they're too focused on their own comfort and desires. They genuinely don't understand why people are upset with them.
Modern Usage:
That person who cheats and then says 'it didn't mean anything' or 'you're overreacting' - they literally can't see past their own perspective.
Privilege without consequence
When someone has always had money and status to protect them from facing real repercussions for their mistakes. They expect others to clean up their messes.
Modern Usage:
Like celebrities or wealthy people who get slaps on the wrist for things that would ruin regular people's lives.
Compartmentalization
The ability to separate different parts of your life so you don't have to think about how they conflict. Stepan loves his family but also wants affairs, and doesn't see the contradiction.
Modern Usage:
When someone acts completely different at work versus home, or justifies bad behavior by saying 'that's just business' or 'what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.'
Characters in This Chapter
Stepan Arkadyich Oblonsky
Protagonist of this opening
A charming but selfish man who's been caught cheating on his wife. He feels sorry for himself rather than truly understanding the pain he's caused, representing how privilege can make people morally blind.
Modern Equivalent:
The guy who gets caught cheating and immediately makes it about how hard this is for him
Dolly
The betrayed wife
Stepan's wife who discovered his affair with their governess. Though she doesn't appear directly in this chapter, her pain and anger drive the entire scene and represent the real cost of betrayal.
Modern Equivalent:
The spouse who finds the texts or emails and has to decide whether to blow up their whole life or try to forgive
The French governess
The other woman
The former employee who had an affair with Stepan. Her position as governess shows how power imbalances make situations even messier - she depended on this family for her livelihood.
Modern Equivalent:
The babysitter, assistant, or employee who gets involved with the boss or husband - someone in a vulnerable position
Why This Matters
Connect literature to life
This chapter teaches how to distinguish between genuine remorse and self-pity disguised as regret.
Practice This Today
Next time someone apologizes to you, notice whether they focus on how bad they feel or on the specific harm they caused and how to repair it.
You have the foundation. Now let's look closer.
Key Quotes & Analysis
"He could not at this date repent of the fact that he, a handsome, susceptible man of thirty-four, was not in love with his wife, the mother of five living and two dead children, and only a year younger than himself."
Context: As Stepan reflects on his situation after being caught cheating
This shows Stepan's complete inability to take responsibility. He acts like not loving his wife is just a fact of nature rather than a choice he's made. The clinical way he lists their dead children shows his emotional detachment.
In Today's Words:
He couldn't feel bad about not being in love with his wife anymore - like that was just how things were, not his fault.
"His wife! Only yesterday she had been a young woman, and now she was the mother of five living and two dead children."
Context: When he's trying to justify why he doesn't find Dolly attractive anymore
Stepan reduces his wife to her biological function and blames her for aging and bearing children. He can't see that she's still a full person with needs and feelings.
In Today's Words:
She used to be hot, but now she's just a mom - as if that's her fault and not partly his responsibility too.
"He felt himself so innocent that he was ready to forgive everyone, even those who had wronged him."
Context: Describing Stepan's mindset as he prepares to face the day
The irony here is devastating - Stepan is the one who cheated, but he feels innocent and generous for being willing to 'forgive' others. This shows how self-deception works in people who can't face their own guilt.
In Today's Words:
He actually felt like the good guy here, ready to forgive everyone else for making such a big deal about his mistake.
Intelligence Amplifier™ Analysis
The Road of Comfortable Blindness
When repeated protection from consequences creates inability to see the damage you cause others.
Thematic Threads
Privilege
In This Chapter
Stepan's social position and gender allow him to avoid consequences for his affair while his wife bears all the emotional cost
Development
Introduced here
In Your Life:
You might see this when someone's money, connections, or status consistently shield them from accountability.
Self-Deception
In This Chapter
Stepan focuses on his own discomfort rather than acknowledging the pain he's caused, reframing himself as the victim
Development
Introduced here
In Your Life:
You might catch yourself doing this when you feel sorry for yourself after hurting someone else.
Marriage
In This Chapter
The gap between Stepan's casual view of his affair and Dolly's experience of complete betrayal reveals how differently spouses can experience the same relationship
Development
Introduced here
In Your Life:
You might recognize this when you and your partner have completely different versions of the same conflict.
Consequences
In This Chapter
Stepan expects his charm and position to smooth over serious damage without him having to change his behavior
Development
Introduced here
In Your Life:
You might see this pattern when someone repeatedly apologizes but never changes their actions.
Emotional Labor
In This Chapter
Dolly carries the full emotional weight of processing the betrayal while Stepan focuses on his own comfort
Development
Introduced here
In Your Life:
You might notice this when you're always the one managing the emotional fallout from someone else's choices.
Modern Adaptation
When the Promotion Goes Sideways
Following Anna's story...
Anna wakes up on her office couch after another late night, her phone buzzing with angry texts from her husband Marcus. He found out she's been having an affair with James, a partner at the firm. She stares at the ceiling, trying to hold onto the memory of last night's passion before reality crashes back. Eight years of marriage, a six-year-old son, a carefully built life—all crumbling because she couldn't resist the thrill of being wanted by someone powerful. Anna genuinely loves Marcus and Tyler, but James makes her feel alive in ways she'd forgotten were possible. As a Black woman in corporate law, she's fought for every inch of respect, and James's attention feels like validation of her worth. But now Marcus is talking about taking Tyler and leaving. She feels sorry for herself, trapped between two worlds—the safe life she built and the dangerous one calling her name. The partnership track she's worked toward for years hangs in the balance, but all she can think about is when she'll see James again.
The Road
The road Stepan walked in 1877, Anna walks today. The pattern is identical: privilege creates moral blindness, making us focus on our own discomfort rather than the devastation we cause others.
The Map
This chapter provides a navigation tool for recognizing when someone is in 'comfortable blindness'—they feel sorry for themselves after causing harm. Anna can use this to examine her own behavior and motivations honestly.
Amplification
Before reading this, Anna might have justified her actions as 'complicated' or blamed circumstances. Now she can NAME comfortable blindness, PREDICT how it destroys relationships, and NAVIGATE toward genuine accountability instead of self-pity.
You now have the context. Time to form your own thoughts.
Discussion Questions
- 1
What does Stepan focus on when he wakes up - his wife's pain or his own discomfort? What does this tell us about his character?
analysis • surface - 2
Why do you think Stepan genuinely can't understand why his affair hurt Dolly so deeply? What has shaped this blindness?
analysis • medium - 3
Where have you seen this pattern of 'comfortable blindness' in your own life - someone who causes damage but focuses on their own inconvenience when called out?
application • medium - 4
If you were Dolly's friend, how would you advise her to handle this situation? What boundaries would you suggest?
application • deep - 5
What does Stepan's reaction reveal about how privilege can damage our ability to see our impact on others?
reflection • deep
Critical Thinking Exercise
Flip the Perspective
Rewrite this morning scene from Dolly's point of view. What is she thinking and feeling while Stepan lies on the couch feeling sorry for himself? Focus on the practical concerns running through her mind - children, household, social standing, financial security.
Consider:
- •Consider what Dolly has invested in this marriage over eight years
- •Think about her limited options as a woman in 1870s Russian society
- •Reflect on how betrayal feels different to the person who trusted versus the person who broke that trust
Journaling Prompt
Write about a time when someone hurt you but seemed more focused on their own discomfort than your pain. How did their self-focus affect your ability to heal or forgive?
Coming Up Next...
Chapter 3
What lies ahead teaches us key events and character development in this chapter, and shows us thematic elements and literary techniques. These patterns appear in literature and life alike.