Original Text(~250 words)
Stepan Arkadyevitch had learned easily at school, thanks to his excellent abilities, but he had been idle and mischievous, and therefore was one of the lowest in his class. But in spite of his habitually dissipated mode of life, his inferior grade in the service, and his comparative youth, he occupied the honorable and lucrative position of president of one of the government boards at Moscow. This post he had received through his sister Anna’s husband, Alexey Alexandrovitch Karenin, who held one of the most important positions in the ministry to whose department the Moscow office belonged. But if Karenin had not got his brother-in-law this berth, then through a hundred other personages—brothers, sisters, cousins, uncles, and aunts—Stiva Oblonsky would have received this post, or some other similar one, together with the salary of six thousand absolutely needful for him, as his affairs, in spite of his wife’s considerable property, were in an embarrassed condition. Half Moscow and Petersburg were friends and relations of Stepan Arkadyevitch. He was born in the midst of those who had been and are the powerful ones of this world. One-third of the men in the government, the older men, had been friends of his father’s, and had known him in petticoats; another third were his intimate chums, and the remainder were friendly acquaintances. Consequently the distributors of earthly blessings in the shape of places, rents, shares, and such, were all his friends, and could not overlook one of their own set; and Oblonsky had...
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Summary
Dolly Oblonsky sits in her children's nursery, overwhelmed and heartbroken after discovering her husband's affair with their former French governess. As she watches her children play, she's torn between rage at Stepan and the crushing reality of what divorce would mean - social disgrace and losing her children, since Russian law gives custody to fathers. Her sister-in-law Anna Karenina has sent word that she's coming from Petersburg to help mediate, but Dolly feels humiliated that the whole family knows about her private shame. The chapter reveals the impossible position of 19th-century wives: stay with an unfaithful husband or face complete social and financial ruin. Dolly's internal struggle shows how women of her era had to weigh personal dignity against practical survival. Her love for her children becomes both her anchor and her trap - she can't bear to lose them, but staying means accepting ongoing betrayal. The nursery setting emphasizes what's at stake: not just a marriage, but a family's future. Tolstoy uses Dolly's perspective to expose how society's rules protected men's freedom while imprisoning women in unhappy marriages. Her conflicted feelings - anger, love, desperation, and resignation - capture the emotional complexity of someone whose entire world has been shattered but who has limited options to rebuild it. This chapter establishes the central tension that will drive much of the novel: the gap between personal desires and social expectations, and the different prices men and women pay for breaking society's rules.
That's what happens. To understand what the author is really doing—and to discuss this chapter with confidence—keep reading.
Terms to Know
Custody laws (19th century Russia)
In Imperial Russia, fathers automatically received custody of children in divorce cases, regardless of circumstances. Women who left their marriages lost all legal rights to their children and faced complete social exile.
Modern Usage:
Today we see similar power imbalances in custody battles where one parent has more resources or legal advantages than the other.
Social disgrace
Complete loss of reputation and standing in society, making it impossible to maintain friendships, social connections, or economic security. For women especially, this meant total isolation.
Modern Usage:
We see this in cancel culture, public shaming on social media, or when someone's reputation is destroyed in their community.
Governess
A live-in teacher hired by wealthy families to educate their children at home. Governesses occupied an awkward social position - educated but dependent, part of the household but not family.
Modern Usage:
Similar to today's nannies or au pairs who live with families and navigate complex boundaries between employee and family member.
Matrimonial trap
The situation where marriage becomes a prison because leaving would result in worse consequences than staying. Women especially faced this due to economic dependence and social expectations.
Modern Usage:
People today stay in bad relationships because leaving would mean financial hardship, losing health insurance, or complicated custody arrangements.
Family mediation
When relatives intervene to resolve marital conflicts, often prioritizing family reputation and stability over individual happiness. This was expected behavior in aristocratic families.
Modern Usage:
Family members still get involved in relationship problems, though today it's more about emotional support than preserving social standing.
Double standard
The social rule that allowed men to have affairs with minimal consequences while women faced complete ruin for the same behavior. Men's infidelity was often overlooked or excused.
Modern Usage:
We still see double standards around sexuality, where men might be praised for behavior that gets women criticized or slut-shamed.
Characters in This Chapter
Dolly Oblonsky
Betrayed wife protagonist
She's processing the devastating discovery of her husband's affair while caring for her children. Her internal struggle reveals how trapped women were by social expectations and economic dependence.
Modern Equivalent:
The stay-at-home mom who discovers her husband's cheating but can't afford to leave
Stepan Oblonsky
Unfaithful husband
Though not present in the scene, his affair with the governess has shattered his family. His actions drive the entire conflict while he faces minimal real consequences.
Modern Equivalent:
The guy who cheats but expects his wife to 'work it out' for the kids' sake
Anna Karenina
Mediating sister-in-law
She's coming from Petersburg to help resolve the crisis. Her involvement shows how family scandals became family-wide problems requiring intervention.
Modern Equivalent:
The sister-in-law who gets called in to help save a marriage during a crisis
The children
Innocent victims
They play unknowingly while their mother agonizes over their future. They represent both what Dolly is fighting to protect and what keeps her trapped.
Modern Equivalent:
Kids caught in the middle of their parents' divorce drama
Why This Matters
Connect literature to life
This chapter teaches how to identify when limited options are manufactured to serve someone else's interests rather than reflecting natural constraints.
Practice This Today
This week, notice when someone presents you with only two bad options—ask yourself who benefits from these being the only choices available.
You have the foundation. Now let's look closer.
Key Quotes & Analysis
"She could not be his wife while remaining in relations with that woman."
Context: Dolly realizes she cannot continue her marriage while her husband maintains his affair
This shows Dolly's moral clarity about what she can and cannot accept. It reveals her dignity and self-respect, even as she faces impossible choices about her future.
In Today's Words:
I can't stay married to someone who's still seeing their side piece
"The position was the more agonizing because she could not hate him."
Context: Dolly struggles with her conflicted feelings toward her unfaithful husband
This captures the complexity of betrayal in long relationships. Love doesn't disappear instantly, making the pain more confusing and the decisions harder.
In Today's Words:
The worst part was that she still loved him even though he broke her heart
"Divorce, disgrace, separation from her children - all this seemed possible and even easy compared to the one thing that was impossible - forgiving him."
Context: Dolly weighs her terrible options after discovering the affair
This reveals how deeply the betrayal has wounded her. Even facing social ruin seems preferable to swallowing her pride and pretending nothing happened.
In Today's Words:
She'd rather lose everything than pretend this was okay
Intelligence Amplifier™ Analysis
The Impossible Choice Trap
When systems eliminate real alternatives while maintaining the illusion of choice, forcing people to accept harm while protecting those in power.
Thematic Threads
Social Expectations
In This Chapter
Society's rules trap Dolly between personal dignity and practical survival, with no acceptable middle ground
Development
Deepening from earlier hints about proper behavior to show the real consequences of social conformity
In Your Life:
You might feel this when workplace culture punishes both speaking up and staying silent about problems
Class
In This Chapter
Dolly's upper-class status makes her more trapped, not less—she has more to lose socially and financially
Development
Building on the Oblonsky family's social position to show how privilege can become prison
In Your Life:
You might see this when having 'good' credentials makes you afraid to take risks or change paths
Human Relationships
In This Chapter
Love for her children becomes both Dolly's greatest strength and her most effective chain
Development
Introduced here as the emotional core that complicates all other considerations
In Your Life:
You might experience this when caring for family members limits your ability to leave harmful situations
Identity
In This Chapter
Dolly's entire sense of self is built on being a wife and mother, making change feel like death
Development
Introduced here as the internal barrier that reinforces external constraints
In Your Life:
You might feel this when your job title or relationship status becomes so central that losing it feels impossible
Personal Growth
In This Chapter
Growth requires options, but Dolly's circumstances have eliminated all paths forward except endurance
Development
Introduced here as the tragedy of potential blocked by circumstances
In Your Life:
You might recognize this when you know you need to change but every option seems to lead to loss
Modern Adaptation
When the Promotion Goes Sideways
Following Anna's story...
Anna sits in her law firm's break room at midnight, staring at her phone. Her husband David just texted that he knows about her affair with Marcus, the senior partner. The whole firm will know by morning—partners' wives talk, and David's already called two of them. Anna faces an impossible choice: stay in the marriage and watch her career implode as the 'other woman' story spreads through their tight professional community, or leave David and lose custody of their daughter since his family has better lawyers and deeper pockets. Either way, she's branded. The affair was supposed to advance her career, but now it threatens everything. She thinks about her daughter sleeping at home, about the mortgage they can barely afford, about starting over at 32 with a ruined reputation. The partnership track she's worked toward for eight years evaporates either way. David holds the cards—their daughter, their social circle, the moral high ground. Anna realizes she never had real choices, just the illusion of them.
The Road
The road Dolly walked in 1877, Anna walks today. The pattern is identical: society creates impossible choices that protect men's power while trapping women between personal dignity and practical survival.
The Map
This chapter provides a navigation tool for recognizing when 'choices' aren't really choices—they're traps designed to maintain power structures. Anna can learn to identify impossible choice scenarios before entering them.
Amplification
Before reading this, Anna might have blamed herself for making 'bad choices' and felt isolated in her shame. Now she can NAME the impossible choice trap, PREDICT how these scenarios unfold, and NAVIGATE by building real alternatives before she needs them.
You now have the context. Time to form your own thoughts.
Discussion Questions
- 1
What specific options does Dolly face after discovering her husband's affair, and what would each choice cost her?
analysis • surface - 2
Why does Russian law give fathers custody of children in divorce, and how does this law shape Dolly's decision-making?
analysis • medium - 3
Where do you see similar 'impossible choice' situations today where people are trapped between bad options?
application • medium - 4
If you were advising someone in Dolly's position today, what steps would you suggest they take to create better options?
application • deep - 5
What does Dolly's situation reveal about how power structures use 'choice' to maintain control while avoiding responsibility?
reflection • deep
Critical Thinking Exercise
Map Your Escape Routes
Think of a situation in your life where you feel trapped between bad options. Draw or list all the choices that seem available to you. Then brainstorm what resources, skills, or support systems would create better alternatives. Finally, identify one small step you could take this week to build toward a better option.
Consider:
- •Consider what you've been told are your only options versus what might actually be possible
- •Think about who benefits from you staying trapped in this situation
- •Look for people who've successfully navigated similar challenges
Journaling Prompt
Write about a time when you felt trapped between impossible choices. What did you learn about creating alternatives, and how would you handle a similar situation differently now?
Coming Up Next...
Chapter 6
As the story unfolds, you'll explore key events and character development in this chapter, while uncovering thematic elements and literary techniques. These lessons connect the classic to contemporary challenges we all face.