Original Text(~250 words)
CHAPTER XLIII. MARGARET’S FLITTIN’. “The meanest thing to which we bid adieu, Loses its meanness in the parting hour.” ELLIOTT. Mrs. Shaw took as vehement a dislike as it was possible for one of her gentle nature to do, against Milton. It was noisy, and smoky, and the poor people whom she saw in the streets were dirty, and the rich ladies over-dressed, and not a man that she saw, high or low, had his clothes made to fit him. She was sure Margaret would never regain her lost strength while she stayed in Milton; and she herself was afraid of one of her old attacks of the nerves. Margaret must return with her, and that quickly. This, if not the exact force of her words, was at any rate the spirit of what she urged on Margaret, till the latter, weak, weary, and broken-spirited, yielded a reluctant promise that, as soon as Wednesday was over, she would prepare to accompany her aunt back to town, leaving Dixon in charge of all the arrangements for paying bills, disposing of furniture, and shutting up the house. Before that Wednesday—that mournful Wednesday, when Mr. Hale was to be interred, far away from either of the homes he had known in life, and far away from the wife who lay lonely among strangers (and this last was Margaret’s great trouble, for she thought that if she had not given way to that overwhelming stupor during the first sad days, she could have arranged...
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Summary
Margaret prepares to leave Milton forever, overwhelmed by grief and her aunt's urgent insistence that the industrial town is destroying her health. Mr. Bell's letter arrives with unexpected news—he's arranged her financial independence with £250 per year, ensuring she won't be dependent on the Shaws' charity. Though weak and exhausted, Margaret forces herself to make final visits to say goodbye. At the Higgins house, she takes Bessy's simple drinking cup as a memento, choosing something humble but meaningful over anything valuable. The visit to Mrs. Thornton proves more challenging—Margaret apologizes for their past conflicts and asks to be believed about her conduct, even without explanations. Mrs. Thornton, softened by Margaret's obvious suffering, grants her this grace. When John Thornton appears, fresh from his father's funeral, the encounter is painfully formal. Both remember the riot and its aftermath, but pride and misunderstanding keep them apart. He convinces himself to let her go, believing she has a 'stony heart' despite her beauty. Their goodbye is coldly polite, though it devastates them both. Higgins arrives for a final visit, bringing warmth and genuine affection. Margaret gives him her father's Bible and money for the Boucher children, gestures he accepts with touching gratitude. This chapter shows how endings require both courage and grace—the strength to leave what no longer serves us while honoring what was meaningful.
That's what happens. To understand what the author is really doing—and to discuss this chapter with confidence—keep reading.
Terms to Know
Flittin'
A Scottish/Northern English word for moving house or relocating. The chapter title uses this dialect term to emphasize Margaret's working-class connections and the finality of leaving Milton. It's more than just moving - it's uprooting your entire life.
Modern Usage:
Like when someone says they're 'pulling up stakes' or 'making a clean break' - leaving everything behind for a fresh start.
Financial independence
Having enough money to live without depending on family or charity. Mr. Bell's gift of £250 per year means Margaret won't be a burden on the Shaws. In 1854, this was a respectable middle-class income for a single woman.
Modern Usage:
Today this might be having enough in savings or investments to cover your basic needs without relying on others for support.
Class consciousness
Being aware of social class differences and how they affect relationships. Margaret chooses Bessy's simple cup over valuable items, showing she values emotional connection over material worth. This challenges Victorian class expectations.
Modern Usage:
Like choosing to keep your grandmother's worn recipe box instead of expensive jewelry - valuing meaning over monetary worth.
Pride as barrier
When personal pride prevents honest communication and connection. Both Margaret and Thornton let their wounded pride keep them from expressing their true feelings, leading to painful misunderstandings.
Modern Usage:
Like when two people clearly care about each other but won't make the first move because they're afraid of being rejected or looking foolish.
Grace in endings
The ability to end relationships or situations with dignity and kindness, even when hurt. Margaret apologizes to Mrs. Thornton and asks for understanding without demanding explanations. It's about taking the high road.
Modern Usage:
Like ending a job or relationship professionally, focusing on closure rather than blame, even when you've been wronged.
Memento
A keepsake that preserves memory of someone or something important. Margaret takes Bessy's drinking cup as a simple but meaningful reminder of their friendship and her time in Milton.
Modern Usage:
Like keeping a friend's favorite coffee mug after they move away, or saving ticket stubs from a special date.
Characters in This Chapter
Margaret Hale
Protagonist
Overwhelmed by grief and pressure from her aunt, she's preparing to leave Milton forever. Despite her exhaustion, she forces herself to make difficult goodbye visits, showing grace under pressure. Her choice of Bessy's simple cup over valuable items reveals her growth in understanding what truly matters.
Modern Equivalent:
The person trying to handle everything perfectly while falling apart inside
Mrs. Shaw
Pressuring relative
Margaret's aunt who despises Milton and insists Margaret return to London immediately. She represents the privileged class's inability to see beyond surface appearances, judging the industrial town as beneath them. Her urgency adds pressure to Margaret's already overwhelming situation.
Modern Equivalent:
The family member who thinks they know what's best for you and won't take no for an answer
John Thornton
Love interest in denial
Appears briefly after his father's funeral, maintaining cold politeness with Margaret despite their mutual attraction. He convinces himself she has a 'stony heart' and lets pride prevent him from expressing his true feelings. Their goodbye is formally devastating.
Modern Equivalent:
The guy who's clearly into you but acts distant because he thinks you're out of his league
Mrs. Thornton
Former adversary showing grace
John's mother, previously hostile to Margaret, shows unexpected kindness when she sees Margaret's genuine suffering. She grants Margaret's request to be believed about her conduct without demanding explanations, demonstrating mature forgiveness.
Modern Equivalent:
The mother-in-law who finally warms up to you when she sees you're genuinely hurting
Nicholas Higgins
Working-class friend
Provides warmth and genuine affection during Margaret's final visit. He gratefully accepts her father's Bible and money for the Boucher children, showing the deep mutual respect that has developed between them across class lines.
Modern Equivalent:
The coworker who becomes a real friend and always keeps it real with you
Why This Matters
Connect literature to life
This chapter teaches how to leave situations with dignity intact and relationships honored, even when circumstances force difficult departures.
Practice This Today
Next time you need to leave a job, relationship, or living situation, ask yourself the three questions before acting: What needs acknowledgment? What requires an apology? What deserves gratitude?
You have the foundation. Now let's look closer.
Key Quotes & Analysis
"The meanest thing to which we bid adieu, Loses its meanness in the parting hour."
Context: The chapter's opening epigraph about how leaving transforms our perspective on places and things
This sets the theme for Margaret's departure - even Milton, which has caused her so much pain, takes on a different meaning as she prepares to leave forever. Parting makes us see value in things we might have dismissed.
In Today's Words:
Even the worst job or relationship looks different when you're walking away for the last time.
"I would rather have this than any thing valuable."
Context: When choosing Bessy's simple drinking cup as a keepsake instead of something more expensive
This shows Margaret's growth in understanding what truly matters. She values the emotional connection and memories over material worth, choosing love over luxury. It's a rejection of conventional class values.
In Today's Words:
I'd rather have something that reminds me of our friendship than something worth money.
"I ask you to believe that I have never done any thing that I was ashamed of."
Context: Margaret's plea to Mrs. Thornton for understanding about her past conduct
Margaret asks for trust without offering explanations, showing both vulnerability and dignity. She's learned that sometimes you have to ask people to believe in your character when circumstances look bad.
In Today's Words:
Please trust that I'm a good person, even if you don't understand everything I've done.
"Her beauty was the first thing that struck him; the next was the deadly paleness of her complexion."
Context: Describing Thornton's reaction when he sees Margaret during their final meeting
This shows how Thornton still sees Margaret's beauty but also notices her suffering. It reveals his continued attraction despite trying to convince himself she has a 'stony heart.' The contrast between beauty and paleness reflects their relationship - attraction mixed with pain.
In Today's Words:
She was still gorgeous, but she looked absolutely exhausted.
Intelligence Amplifier™ Analysis
The Road of Graceful Exits
How we leave situations determines what emotional baggage we carry forward and what bridges remain intact.
Thematic Threads
Pride
In This Chapter
Both Margaret and Thornton let pride prevent honest communication during their final meeting
Development
Pride has consistently blocked understanding between them throughout the novel
In Your Life:
Pride often makes us choose being right over being happy in our own relationships
Class
In This Chapter
Margaret's financial independence through Mr. Bell's arrangement frees her from dependence on upper-class relatives
Development
Her journey from genteel poverty to independent means represents growing economic agency
In Your Life:
Financial independence, even modest amounts, changes how others treat you and how you see yourself
Human Connection
In This Chapter
Higgins provides the only warm, genuine farewell while formal social relationships remain cold
Development
Working-class relationships have proven more authentic than upper-class social expectations
In Your Life:
The people who show up during your hardest times often aren't the ones you expected
Personal Growth
In This Chapter
Margaret chooses meaningful mementos over valuable ones, showing evolved priorities
Development
She's learned to value substance over surface throughout her Milton experience
In Your Life:
What you choose to keep when leaving a situation reveals what you've truly learned to value
Social Expectations
In This Chapter
Mrs. Thornton softens her judgment when faced with Margaret's obvious suffering
Development
Rigid social codes bend when confronted with genuine human pain
In Your Life:
People's harsh judgments often soften when they see you're genuinely struggling
Modern Adaptation
When the Promotion Goes Sideways
Following Margaret's story...
Margaret packs her desk at the legal aid office, her idealism crushed after losing a major case against DataFlow Industries. Her aunt's cancer diagnosis means she's moving to Phoenix to be a caregiver—and she can't afford to fight corporate lawyers anymore. Her supervisor secured her a small severance package, enough for independence but not enough to stay and keep fighting. She makes final visits: taking a coffee mug from her paralegal friend who died of workplace exposure, apologizing to the opposing counsel who she'd publicly accused of witness intimidation, and saying goodbye to John, DataFlow's CEO who'd started reforming labor practices after their heated confrontations. The conversation is painfully formal—both remembering their passionate arguments about worker safety, both too proud to admit the attraction beneath their conflicts. Her final visit is with Rico, the warehouse worker whose case started it all. She gives him her law school textbooks and money for his kids' school supplies.
The Road
The road Margaret Hale walked in 1854, Margaret walks today. The pattern is identical: leaving with grace requires facing every difficult goodbye deliberately, choosing meaning over convenience, and creating clean closure rather than festering wounds.
The Map
The navigation tool is the Three Questions Exit Strategy: What needs acknowledgment? What requires an apology? What deserves gratitude? Act on these answers even when uncomfortable.
Amplification
Before reading this, Margaret might have just disappeared, avoiding painful conversations and leaving relationships messy. Now she can NAME the difference between clean exits and messy escapes, PREDICT which creates lasting peace, and NAVIGATE endings with both strength and grace.
You now have the context. Time to form your own thoughts.
Discussion Questions
- 1
Why does Margaret choose Bessy's simple drinking cup as her memento instead of something valuable?
analysis • surface - 2
What makes Margaret's apology to Mrs. Thornton effective even though she doesn't explain her past actions?
analysis • medium - 3
Think about someone leaving your workplace or neighborhood. What's the difference between how people remember those who left gracefully versus those who just disappeared?
application • medium - 4
Margaret faces three very different goodbyes in this chapter. If you had to leave your current situation tomorrow, what three conversations would be hardest but most necessary?
application • deep - 5
Why do you think both Margaret and Thornton walk away from their final meeting feeling devastated, even though both believe they're making the right choice?
reflection • deep
Critical Thinking Exercise
Design Your Exit Strategy
Think of a situation you might need to leave someday—a job, relationship, living situation, or commitment. Using Margaret's approach, map out how you would handle the ending. Identify who deserves acknowledgment, what needs an apology, and what requires gratitude. Then consider what 'mementos' (memories, lessons, or actual items) you'd want to carry forward.
Consider:
- •Focus on meaning over monetary value when choosing what to remember
- •Consider which relationships could remain positive with proper closure
- •Think about what you'd regret not saying if you left tomorrow
Journaling Prompt
Write about a time when you had to say goodbye to something important. What did you do well in that ending? What would you handle differently now, knowing what Margaret teaches us about graceful exits?
Coming Up Next...
Chapter 44: The Emptiness of Ease
Moving forward, we'll examine comfort without purpose can become its own prison, and understand meaningful work in creating fulfillment. These insights bridge the gap between classic literature and modern experience.