Chapter 31
Mother's Advice and Angel's Devotion

Tess receives her mother's letter giving her permission to hide her past from Angel, and suddenly her crushing guilt evaporates. This reveals a fundamental pattern: we often outsource our moral decisions to others when the stakes feel too high to bear alone. Joan's advice—'many women have troubles and don't broadcast them'—transforms Tess's burden into social permission, temporarily freeing her to experience happiness. This permission-seeking operates as emotional relief valve. When facing consequences that feel unbearable, we desperately seek authority figures who will tell us our shortcuts are justified. Tess's mother represents the voice saying 'everyone does it' or 'you deserve happiness too.' The mechanism works because it shifts responsibility away from our conscience onto social convention. But permission-seeking creates fragile foundations—Tess's happiness depends entirely on maintaining the lie. This pattern dominates modern life. Healthcare workers skip proper protocols when supervisors signal 'just get it done.' Parents let schools handle difficult conversations they should have with their kids. Employees stay silent about workplace problems because management signals 'don't rock the boat.' People stay in bad relationships because family says 'marriage is work' instead of recognizing abuse. Each situation involves seeking permission to avoid hard truths that might disrupt temporary comfort. Recognize when you're permission-shopping instead of decision-making. Ask: 'Am I seeking advice or seeking someone to tell me what I want to hear?' Real guidance helps you face reality, not escape it. When someone tells you exactly what relieves your guilt, that's a red flag. Build your decision-making muscles by sitting with discomfort instead of immediately seeking relief. The right choice often feels heavy before it feels light. When you can name the pattern, predict where it leads, and navigate it successfully—that's amplified intelligence.