Original Text(~250 words)
CHAPTER XXVI In the middle of the summer Princess Mary received an unexpected letter from Prince Andrew in Switzerland in which he gave her strange and surprising news. He informed her of his engagement to Natásha Rostóva. The whole letter breathed loving rapture for his betrothed and tender and confiding affection for his sister. He wrote that he had never loved as he did now and that only now did he understand and know what life was. He asked his sister to forgive him for not having told her of his resolve when he had last visited Bald Hills, though he had spoken of it to his father. He had not done so for fear Princess Mary should ask her father to give his consent, irritating him and having to bear the brunt of his displeasure without attaining her object. “Besides,” he wrote, “the matter was not then so definitely settled as it is now. My father then insisted on a delay of a year and now already six months, half of that period, have passed, and my resolution is firmer than ever. If the doctors did not keep me here at the spas I should be back in Russia, but as it is I have to postpone my return for three months. You know me and my relations with Father. I want nothing from him. I have been and always shall be independent; but to go against his will and arouse his anger, now that he may perhaps remain...
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Summary
Princess Mary receives a letter that should bring joy—her brother Andrew is engaged to Natasha and finally happy again after his wife's death. But when she shares this news with their father, the old prince explodes with cruel sarcasm, saying Andrew should wait until he's dead and threatening to marry the French governess out of spite. The prince's anger isn't really about the engagement; it's about losing control over his son and facing his own mortality. Meanwhile, Princess Mary finds herself torn between two worlds. She's drawn to the religious pilgrims who visit secretly, especially a woman named Theodosia who has wandered for thirty years in poverty and prayer. Mary even prepares pilgrim clothes and dreams of escaping her suffocating life for spiritual freedom. But every time she considers leaving, she looks at her father and little nephew Nicholas and realizes she loves them too much to abandon them. This chapter reveals how family obligations can become both a prison and a purpose. Mary wants the simple clarity of a pilgrim's life, where earthly attachments don't matter, but she's trapped by her very capacity for love. Her father's bitterness about Andrew's engagement shows how fear of abandonment can make us cruel to the people we're desperate to keep close.
That's what happens. To understand what the author is really doing—and to discuss this chapter with confidence—keep reading.
Terms to Know
Spa treatment
In 19th century Europe, wealthy people went to natural hot springs for months to cure illnesses. Doctors prescribed these long stays as medical treatment, though they were often more like expensive vacations.
Modern Usage:
Today we still go to spas for health and relaxation, though usually for days not months.
Arranged marriage expectations
Parents, especially fathers, expected to control their children's marriages for family advantage. Going against a father's will was seen as rebellion that could destroy family relationships.
Modern Usage:
Some families still expect input on major relationship decisions, though most young adults choose their own partners.
Religious pilgrimage
Devout people would abandon their possessions and wander from holy place to holy place, living on charity and prayer. This was seen as the ultimate spiritual sacrifice.
Modern Usage:
People still seek spiritual journeys and retreats when regular life feels empty or overwhelming.
Governess
A live-in teacher, usually a young woman from a good family who had fallen on hard times. She taught the children but wasn't quite family or servant.
Modern Usage:
Like today's nannies or private tutors who become part of the household but maintain an awkward social position.
Family duty vs. personal freedom
The constant tension between what you want for yourself and what your family needs from you. In Tolstoy's time, family obligations almost always won.
Modern Usage:
We still struggle with caring for aging parents, supporting siblings, or staying close to home versus pursuing our own dreams.
Emotional manipulation through illness
Using real or exaggerated health problems to control family members by making them feel guilty for wanting independence.
Modern Usage:
Still happens today when family members use their health issues to keep others from moving away or making changes.
Characters in This Chapter
Princess Mary
Conflicted caregiver
She's torn between her spiritual yearnings and family duties. Dreams of becoming a pilgrim but can't abandon her difficult father and orphaned nephew.
Modern Equivalent:
The adult daughter who gave up her career to care for aging parents
Prince Andrew
Absent son seeking independence
Finally found happiness with Natasha but is stuck at a spa, trying to balance his new love with his father's demands for control.
Modern Equivalent:
The adult child trying to live their own life while managing a controlling parent
The old Prince
Controlling patriarch
Explodes with cruel anger about Andrew's engagement, threatening to marry his governess out of spite. His rage masks his fear of being abandoned.
Modern Equivalent:
The aging parent who uses guilt and threats to keep their adult children close
Theodosia
Spiritual guide
A religious pilgrim who represents the freedom Mary craves. She's wandered for thirty years, owning nothing but finding peace.
Modern Equivalent:
The friend who quit everything to travel the world or join a spiritual community
Little Nicholas
Innocent anchor
Andrew's young son who needs care and stability. His presence makes it impossible for Mary to abandon her responsibilities.
Modern Equivalent:
The child or dependent who keeps you tied to a situation you want to escape
Why This Matters
Connect literature to life
This chapter teaches how to recognize when someone uses your love against you to control your choices.
Practice This Today
This week, notice when someone responds to your boundaries with guilt, threats of abandonment, or claims about what you 'owe' them—that's emotional blackmail in action.
You have the foundation. Now let's look closer.
Key Quotes & Analysis
"He had never loved as he did now and only now did he understand and know what life was."
Context: Andrew writes to his sister about his engagement to Natasha
Shows how real love can transform someone completely. Andrew has been emotionally dead since his wife died, but Natasha brought him back to life.
In Today's Words:
I finally found the person who makes everything make sense.
"If he wants to marry that girl, let him! That's his business, but I won't have it done in my house!"
Context: His angry reaction when Mary tells him about Andrew's engagement
The prince's fury isn't really about Natasha - it's about losing control over his son and facing his own mortality and loneliness.
In Today's Words:
Fine, he can ruin his life, but he's not bringing her around here!
"God's folk, these pilgrims. They have given up everything and go from place to place."
Context: Mary watching the religious pilgrims and envying their freedom
Mary romanticizes the pilgrims because they've escaped all earthly attachments that trap her. But she can't see that love itself can be a form of spiritual calling.
In Today's Words:
These people have it figured out - no responsibilities, no one depending on them.
Intelligence Amplifier™ Analysis
The Road of Love as Prison
When our capacity for love becomes the mechanism that traps us in situations that slowly destroy our spirit and enable others' dysfunction.
Thematic Threads
Control
In This Chapter
The old prince's fury about Andrew's engagement stems from losing control over his son's life decisions
Development
Builds on earlier themes of patriarchal authority, now showing how control becomes desperate when threatened
In Your Life:
You might see this when a boss becomes unreasonably angry about employees seeking better opportunities
Spiritual yearning
In This Chapter
Mary is drawn to the pilgrims and dreams of escaping worldly attachments for spiritual freedom
Development
Introduced here as Mary's internal conflict between duty and spiritual calling
In Your Life:
You might feel this as the desire to simplify your life and escape complicated relationships and obligations
Sacrifice
In This Chapter
Mary repeatedly chooses family duty over her own spiritual needs and desires for freedom
Development
Continues Mary's pattern of self-denial, now showing the psychological cost
In Your Life:
You might recognize this in always putting others' needs before your own, even when it's not truly helping them
Fear of abandonment
In This Chapter
The prince threatens to marry the governess out of spite when he feels his family slipping away
Development
Deepens the theme of how fear makes people cruel to those they love most
In Your Life:
You might see this when someone lashes out or makes threats when they feel you pulling away emotionally
Identity
In This Chapter
Mary struggles between her identity as dutiful daughter and her desire to be a spiritual seeker
Development
Continues exploration of how social roles can conflict with authentic self
In Your Life:
You might feel this tension between who your family expects you to be and who you actually are
Modern Adaptation
When Family Dreams Become Family Chains
Following Andrew's story...
Andrew gets the call he's been waiting for—his brother Marcus finally landed a good job in Denver and wants to move his family there for a fresh start. Andrew should be thrilled; Marcus has been struggling since his divorce, working dead-end jobs while raising his daughter alone. But when Andrew tells their aging father about Marcus's plan, the old man explodes. 'So now he's abandoning me too? After everything I've done?' Their father threatens to cut Marcus off completely, playing the heart attack card he's used for years. Andrew finds himself caught in the middle, watching his brother's hope crumble under their father's guilt trips. Meanwhile, Andrew has been secretly planning his own escape—he's saved enough money to finally travel, maybe find some meaning beyond this small town. But every time he looks at his father's bitter face and thinks about Marcus's daughter who adores her grandfather, Andrew realizes he can't leave either. His love for his family has become the very thing keeping him trapped in a life that's slowly suffocating his dreams.
The Road
The road Princess Mary walked in 1812, Andrew walks today. The pattern is identical: love becoming a prison when family members use emotional manipulation to prevent change, and genuine care becoming the chain that keeps you bound to dysfunction.
The Map
This chapter provides a navigation tool for recognizing when love has been weaponized. Andrew can learn to distinguish between genuine need and emotional manipulation disguised as family obligation.
Amplification
Before reading this, Andrew might have felt guilty for wanting to leave and stayed out of obligation. Now he can NAME emotional blackmail, PREDICT how his father will escalate the guilt trips, and NAVIGATE by setting boundaries that protect both his dreams and his family relationships.
You now have the context. Time to form your own thoughts.
Discussion Questions
- 1
Why does the old prince react so angrily to news of Andrew's engagement when it should be good news?
analysis • surface - 2
What's really behind Princess Mary's attraction to the pilgrim life, and why can't she actually leave?
analysis • medium - 3
Where do you see this pattern today - people staying in situations that drain them because they feel too guilty to leave?
application • medium - 4
How can you tell the difference between love that serves someone and love that just serves your fear of guilt?
application • deep - 5
What does this chapter reveal about how fear of abandonment can make us cruel to the people we're desperate to keep close?
reflection • deep
Critical Thinking Exercise
Map Your Love Traps
Think of a situation where you feel stuck because leaving would hurt someone you care about. Draw three circles: what you want, what they need, and what fear is driving both of you. Look for where genuine need ends and emotional manipulation begins - even when it's unintentional.
Consider:
- •Consider whether staying actually helps them grow or just enables dependence
- •Notice if your 'sacrifice' is really serving them or serving your need to feel needed
- •Ask what would happen if you trusted them to handle your absence or boundaries
Journaling Prompt
Write about a time when someone you loved used guilt to keep you close, or when you did this to someone else. What were you both really afraid of?
Coming Up Next...
Chapter 133: The Comfort of Avoidance
What lies ahead teaches us comfortable routines can become prisons that prevent necessary growth, and shows us family crises force us to confront responsibilities we've been avoiding. These patterns appear in literature and life alike.