Original Text(~250 words)
CHAPTER VI At the end of January old Count Rostóv went to Moscow with Natásha and Sónya. The countess was still unwell and unable to travel but it was impossible to wait for her recovery. Prince Andrew was expected in Moscow any day, the trousseau had to be ordered and the estate near Moscow had to be sold, besides which the opportunity of presenting his future daughter-in-law to old Prince Bolkónski while he was in Moscow could not be missed. The Rostóvs’ Moscow house had not been heated that winter and, as they had come only for a short time and the countess was not with them, the count decided to stay with Márya Dmítrievna Akhrosímova, who had long been pressing her hospitality on them. Late one evening the Rostóvs’ four sleighs drove into Márya Dmítrievna’s courtyard in the old Konyúsheny street. Márya Dmítrievna lived alone. She had already married off her daughter, and her sons were all in the service. She held herself as erect, told everyone her opinion as candidly, loudly, and bluntly as ever, and her whole bearing seemed a reproach to others for any weakness, passion, or temptation—the possibility of which she did not admit. From early in the morning, wearing a dressing jacket, she attended to her household affairs, and then she drove out: on holy days to church and after the service to jails and prisons on affairs of which she never spoke to anyone. On ordinary days, after dressing, she received petitioners of...
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Summary
Count Rostov brings Natasha and Sonya to Moscow to prepare for Natasha's wedding to Prince Andrew. They stay with Marya Dmitrievna, a formidable older woman who runs her household with military precision and speaks her mind without filter. Despite her gruff exterior, she genuinely cares for Natasha and takes charge of wedding preparations with characteristic efficiency. The chapter reveals Marya Dmitrievna as the kind of mentor every young person needs—someone who combines practical wisdom with fierce protection. She understands that Natasha's upcoming marriage isn't just about love; it's about navigating complex family politics. Prince Andrew's father, old Prince Bolkonski, disapproves of the match, and Marya Dmitrievna knows this could derail everything. Her advice to Natasha is strategic: win over the family first, especially Andrew's sister Mary. This isn't manipulation—it's social intelligence. Marya Dmitrievna recognizes that sustainable relationships require building bridges, not just following your heart. Natasha's response reveals her youth and romantic idealism. She bristles at anyone interfering in her love story, believing that pure love should be enough. This tension between youthful passion and experienced pragmatism drives the chapter's emotional core. Tolstoy shows us how different generations approach relationships—the young with idealistic fervor, the experienced with strategic caution. Both perspectives have merit, but Marya Dmitrievna's approach acknowledges a crucial truth: love doesn't exist in a vacuum. Family approval, social dynamics, and practical considerations all matter in creating lasting happiness.
That's what happens. To understand what the author is really doing—and to discuss this chapter with confidence—keep reading.
Terms to Know
Trousseau
The clothing, linens, and personal belongings a bride collects before marriage. In aristocratic families, this was an elaborate preparation that took months and significant money. It represented the bride's transition from daughter to wife.
Modern Usage:
Today we see this in wedding registries and bridal showers - the idea that starting married life requires accumulating specific items and preparing for a new role.
Presenting the future daughter-in-law
A formal social ritual where the bride-to-be meets and gains approval from her fiancé's family. This wasn't just politeness - family approval could make or break an engagement. The meeting determined if she'd be accepted into their social circle.
Modern Usage:
This still happens when you meet your partner's parents for the first time, or when families gather to discuss engagement plans - the stakes just feel lower now.
Hospitality as social currency
In aristocratic society, offering your home to others was both generosity and power play. Márya Dmítrievna's insistence on hosting the Rostóvs shows her social status and creates obligation. Being a good host meant having influence.
Modern Usage:
We see this in people who always insist on hosting holidays or picking up the dinner check - it's about relationship dynamics and who holds social power.
Bearing as reproach
Márya Dmítrievna's upright posture and blunt manner serve as silent criticism of others' weakness. Her very presence suggests that everyone else is too soft or indulgent. This is leadership through intimidation and moral authority.
Modern Usage:
Think of that coworker whose work ethic makes everyone else feel lazy, or the friend whose healthy lifestyle makes you feel guilty about your choices.
Petitioners
People who came to ask Márya Dmítrievna for help, favors, or intervention in their problems. Wealthy, well-connected people became informal judges and problem-solvers for their community. This was power without official title.
Modern Usage:
Like being the person everyone comes to for advice, connections, or help solving problems - the unofficial community leader or workplace mediator.
Strategic matchmaking
Marriage negotiations that consider family politics, social standing, and practical benefits alongside romantic feelings. Love was important, but sustainable marriages required family approval and social compatibility.
Modern Usage:
Today we see this in families who care about their children's partners' education, career prospects, or family background - love isn't enough if the practical pieces don't fit.
Characters in This Chapter
Count Rostóv
Protective father
He brings his daughter to Moscow for wedding preparations, showing his commitment to her happiness. His decision to stay with Márya Dmítrievna rather than their own cold house shows practical thinking and social awareness.
Modern Equivalent:
The dad who drives across the country to help his daughter apartment hunt
Natásha
Bride-to-be protagonist
She's preparing for marriage to Prince Andrew, navigating the complex social requirements of aristocratic engagement. Her presence in Moscow signals the transition from romantic courtship to practical wedding planning.
Modern Equivalent:
The young woman planning her wedding while dealing with future in-law drama
Márya Dmítrievna Akhrosímova
Formidable mentor figure
She provides hospitality and guidance, representing the kind of older woman who combines practical wisdom with fierce protection. Her blunt manner and moral authority make her both intimidating and trustworthy.
Modern Equivalent:
The no-nonsense aunt who tells you exactly what you need to hear, whether you want to or not
Prince Andrew
Absent fiancé
Though not physically present, his expected arrival drives the chapter's urgency. The preparations center around him and the challenge of gaining his family's approval for the marriage.
Modern Equivalent:
The partner whose family you're nervous about meeting
Old Prince Bolkónski
Disapproving potential father-in-law
His presence in Moscow creates the opportunity for formal introduction, but also the risk of rejection. His approval could secure Natásha's future; his disapproval could end everything.
Modern Equivalent:
The intimidating future father-in-law who has strong opinions about who's good enough for his child
Why This Matters
Connect literature to life
This chapter teaches how to identify key influencers within family systems and understand that winning over strategic allies often matters more than charming everyone equally.
Practice This Today
This week, notice who holds real influence in family or workplace decisions—it's rarely the loudest person, often someone whose opinion everyone quietly seeks before making moves.
You have the foundation. Now let's look closer.
Key Quotes & Analysis
"She held herself as erect, told everyone her opinion as candidly, loudly, and bluntly as ever, and her whole bearing seemed a reproach to others for any weakness, passion, or temptation."
Context: Describing Márya Dmítrievna's intimidating presence and moral authority
This shows how some people use their very presence as a form of leadership and judgment. Márya Dmítrievna doesn't need to lecture people - her upright bearing and direct manner make others feel judged for their own compromises and weaknesses.
In Today's Words:
She carried herself like she had her life completely together, which made everyone else feel like a mess just by comparison.
"The opportunity of presenting his future daughter-in-law to old Prince Bolkónski while he was in Moscow could not be missed."
Context: Explaining why the Rostóvs must travel to Moscow despite the countess being ill
This reveals how family approval was crucial for aristocratic marriages. The timing creates urgency - missing this chance could derail the entire engagement. It shows marriage as negotiation between families, not just individuals.
In Today's Words:
They had to introduce Natasha to Andrew's dad while they had the chance - this meeting could make or break everything.
"From early in the morning, wearing a dressing jacket, she attended to her household affairs, and then she drove out: on holy days to church and after the service to jails and prisons on affairs of which she never spoke to anyone."
Context: Describing Márya Dmítrievna's daily routine and mysterious charitable work
This shows her as someone who combines practical household management with secret good works. Her refusal to discuss her charity work reveals genuine virtue rather than performance - she helps people without seeking credit or recognition.
In Today's Words:
She ran her house like clockwork and did volunteer work she never bragged about - the kind of person who actually walks the walk.
Intelligence Amplifier™ Analysis
The Road of Strategic Love - When Hearts Need Allies
Sustainable relationships require building strategic support systems beyond just the primary connection.
Thematic Threads
Social Intelligence
In This Chapter
Marya Dmitrievna coaches Natasha on family politics rather than just celebrating romance
Development
Building from earlier themes about navigating complex social hierarchies
In Your Life:
You see this when you realize getting along with your partner's family affects your relationship's long-term success
Generational Wisdom
In This Chapter
Older woman's strategic approach clashes with young woman's romantic idealism
Development
Continues exploration of how experience shapes perspective on relationships
In Your Life:
You experience this tension when older relatives give relationship advice that feels calculated rather than romantic
Class Dynamics
In This Chapter
Marriage negotiations involve family status and social positioning beyond personal feelings
Development
Deepens earlier themes about how social class affects personal choices
In Your Life:
You encounter this when dating someone from a different economic background and feeling judged by their family
Protective Authority
In This Chapter
Marya Dmitrievna takes charge of Natasha's welfare with fierce but caring control
Development
Introduces new dynamic of surrogate parental protection in social navigation
In Your Life:
You recognize this in mentors who give tough advice because they genuinely want to protect your future
Idealism vs Reality
In This Chapter
Natasha's belief that pure love conquers all conflicts with practical relationship challenges
Development
Continues theme of characters learning that good intentions need strategic implementation
In Your Life:
You face this when your romantic ideals clash with the practical work required to make relationships succeed
Modern Adaptation
When Love Needs Allies
Following Andrew's story...
Andrew's been dating Maria, a nurse from the hospital where he volunteers after selling his company. Her tight-knit Puerto Rican family runs deep—three generations in the same neighborhood, Sunday dinners mandatory, opinions voiced loudly. Andrew's awkward wealth and philosophical searching don't impress Maria's grandmother, who sees him as another rich boy playing around. Maria's sister Carmen, influential with the whole family, openly questions his commitment. Andrew wants to just 'be himself' and let love win over everyone naturally. But Maria's friend Rosa, a seasoned CNA who's seen relationships crash against family disapproval, pulls him aside. 'You think love conquers all?' she says. 'Maybe in movies. In real life, you need allies. Start with Carmen. Show up consistently. Learn some Spanish. Ask about their history. Stop waiting for them to accept you—earn it.' Andrew realizes his passive approach isn't romantic—it's naive.
The Road
The road Natasha walked in 1809, Andrew walks today. The pattern is identical: love without social infrastructure crumbles under family pressure, but strategic relationship-building creates sustainable support systems.
The Map
This chapter provides a navigation tool for entering established social circles. Instead of expecting acceptance based on good intentions, actively build bridges with key family members and influencers.
Amplification
Before reading this, Andrew might have assumed genuine love should be enough to overcome family resistance. Now he can NAME the alliance-building pattern, PREDICT where resistance will emerge, and NAVIGATE it by investing in relationships with key family influencers.
You now have the context. Time to form your own thoughts.
Discussion Questions
- 1
Why does Marya Dmitrievna insist that Natasha needs to win over Prince Andrew's family before the wedding?
analysis • surface - 2
What does Natasha's resistance to family politics reveal about how young people approach relationships differently than older, experienced people?
analysis • medium - 3
Where do you see this pattern today—situations where love or passion alone isn't enough without building the right alliances?
application • medium - 4
If you were advising Natasha, how would you help her balance staying true to her feelings while also being strategic about family dynamics?
application • deep - 5
What does this chapter teach us about the difference between romantic idealism and sustainable relationship building?
reflection • deep
Critical Thinking Exercise
Map Your Relationship Ecosystem
Think of an important relationship in your life—romantic, professional, or friendship. Draw a simple map showing all the key people who influence that relationship: family members, friends, colleagues, anyone whose opinion matters. Mark each person as supportive, neutral, or resistant. Now identify the two most influential people who aren't fully supportive yet.
Consider:
- •Focus on people whose opinions actually impact your relationship, not just anyone with an opinion
- •Consider why resistant people feel that way—is it about you, the situation, or their own fears?
- •Think about what small steps might shift neutral people toward supportive
Journaling Prompt
Write about a time when family or friend disapproval affected one of your relationships. What would you do differently now, knowing what Marya Dmitrievna knows about building alliances?
Coming Up Next...
Chapter 152: When First Impressions Go Wrong
The coming pages reveal anxiety and prejudice poison first meetings, and teach us family dynamics can sabotage important relationships. These discoveries help us navigate similar situations in our own lives.