Original Text(~250 words)
OF VANITY There is, peradventure, no more manifest vanity than to write of it so vainly. That which divinity has so divinely expressed to us--[“Vanity of vanities: all is vanity.”--Eccles., i. 2.]--ought to be carefully and continually meditated by men of understanding. Who does not see that I have taken a road, in which, incessantly and without labour, I shall proceed so long as there shall be ink and paper in the world? I can give no account of my life by my actions; fortune has placed them too low: I must do it by my fancies. And yet I have seen a gentleman who only communicated his life by the workings of his belly: you might see on his premises a show of a row of basins of seven or eight days’ standing; it was his study, his discourse; all other talk stank in his nostrils. Here, but not so nauseous, are the excrements of an old mind, sometimes thick, sometimes thin, and always indigested. And when shall I have done representing the continual agitation and mutation of my thoughts, as they come into my head, seeing that Diomedes wrote six thousand books upon the sole subject of grammar? [It was not Diomedes, but Didymus the grammarian, who, as Seneca (Ep., 88) tells us, wrote four not six thousand books on questions of vain literature, which was the principal study of the ancient grammarian.--Coste. But the number is probably exaggerated, and for books we should doubtless read pamphlets or...
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Summary
Montaigne tackles the ultimate paradox: writing extensively about vanity while acknowledging that the very act of writing is itself vain. He explores his relationship with his estate, admitting he's better at managing his thoughts than his household affairs, and finds himself torn between duty and desire for freedom. The chapter reveals his deep ambivalence about domestic responsibilities—he loves his ancestral home but feels burdened by its demands. Travel becomes his escape, offering perspective on both personal and political troubles. Montaigne examines France's civil wars with weary wisdom, arguing that radical change often makes things worse, not better. He advocates for accepting imperfect systems rather than pursuing destructive reforms. Throughout, he grapples with the tension between philosophical ideals and messy reality, concluding that pure virtue may be impossible in a corrupt world. The essay becomes a meditation on aging, legacy, and the human need for both solitude and connection. Montaigne's honesty about his own contradictions—wanting both engagement and withdrawal, order and freedom—makes this one of his most psychologically penetrating works. He ultimately embraces the paradox of human nature rather than trying to resolve it.
That's what happens. To understand what the author is really doing—and to discuss this chapter with confidence—keep reading.
Terms to Know
Vanity (in philosophical sense)
The futility and emptiness of human pursuits, especially intellectual ones. Montaigne uses this biblical concept to examine how even our attempts to be wise or meaningful are ultimately hollow.
Modern Usage:
We see this when people obsess over social media metrics or career achievements that feel empty once attained.
Civil Wars (French Wars of Religion)
The brutal religious conflicts tearing apart France during Montaigne's lifetime. Catholics and Protestants fought for decades, destroying communities and families.
Modern Usage:
Similar to how political polarization today divides families and communities, making neighbors into enemies.
Estate Management
The practical business of running a household, managing servants, overseeing land, and handling finances. Montaigne inherited these responsibilities but found them burdensome.
Modern Usage:
Like being responsible for aging parents, a family business, or inherited property you don't really want to deal with.
Melancholy
A deep, contemplative sadness that was considered both a temperament and a philosophical stance in Montaigne's time. It was associated with wisdom and introspection.
Modern Usage:
Similar to what we might call depression or existential anxiety about life's meaning and purpose.
Domestic Tyranny
Montaigne's term for how household duties and social obligations can trap and control us, even when we have the power to escape them.
Modern Usage:
The way family expectations, mortgage payments, or career responsibilities can make us feel stuck even when we theoretically have choices.
Political Reform vs. Conservation
The debate between changing corrupt systems versus accepting their flaws. Montaigne argues that radical change often creates worse problems than the original issues.
Modern Usage:
The ongoing tension between progressive reform movements and conservative 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it' attitudes in modern politics.
Characters in This Chapter
Montaigne
Conflicted narrator and protagonist
He struggles with the contradiction of writing extensively about vanity while engaging in the vain act of writing. He's torn between duty to his estate and desire for freedom, between engagement with politics and withdrawal into philosophy.
Modern Equivalent:
The burned-out middle manager who knows the system is broken but can't quit
The gentleman with the basins
Cautionary example
Montaigne mentions a man who was obsessed with his bowel movements, keeping displays of his excrement. This serves as an extreme example of vanity and self-absorption that Montaigne fears he might be approaching with his own writing.
Modern Equivalent:
The person who overshares every mundane detail of their life on social media
Diomedes (actually Didymus)
Historical example of academic excess
A grammarian who supposedly wrote thousands of books on trivial subjects. Montaigne uses him to illustrate how scholarship can become its own form of vanity and waste.
Modern Equivalent:
The academic who publishes endless papers on increasingly narrow topics that nobody reads
Why This Matters
Connect literature to life
This chapter teaches how to acknowledge competing desires without seeing them as character flaws or problems to solve.
Practice This Today
This week, notice when you feel torn between two legitimate wants—then practice naming both instead of choosing one to suppress.
You have the foundation. Now let's look closer.
Key Quotes & Analysis
"I can give no account of my life by my actions; fortune has placed them too low: I must do it by my fancies."
Context: He's explaining why he writes about his thoughts rather than his deeds
This reveals Montaigne's class consciousness and his innovation in making inner life worthy of literature. He's creating a new form of writing because traditional heroic narratives don't fit his ordinary life.
In Today's Words:
I haven't done anything worth bragging about, so I'll tell you what I think instead.
"Here, but not so nauseous, are the excrements of an old mind, sometimes thick, sometimes thin, and always indigested."
Context: Comparing his essays to the obsessive man's bowel movements
Montaigne uses shocking imagery to acknowledge that his writing might be just as self-indulgent and worthless as the examples he mocks. It's both self-deprecating and honest about the nature of personal writing.
In Today's Words:
These are just the random thoughts of an old guy - sometimes deep, sometimes shallow, never fully thought through.
"Vanity of vanities: all is vanity."
Context: The opening premise that frames the entire essay
By starting with this famous biblical verse, Montaigne sets up the central paradox of his essay. If everything is vanity, then writing about vanity is also vanity, creating an infinite loop of self-awareness.
In Today's Words:
Everything we do is ultimately pointless and meaningless.
Intelligence Amplifier™ Analysis
The Road of Productive Contradictions
Honest acknowledgment of competing desires creates more authentic choices than forced consistency.
Thematic Threads
Identity
In This Chapter
Montaigne struggles between his roles as estate manager and philosopher, finding himself better at thinking than managing practical affairs
Development
Deepens from earlier self-examination—now he's exploring the tension between who he is and what others expect
In Your Life:
You might recognize this when feeling torn between different versions of yourself at work versus home
Class
In This Chapter
His inherited estate brings both privilege and burden—he has status but feels trapped by aristocratic expectations
Development
Evolved from abstract discussions of nobility to concrete experience of class obligations
In Your Life:
You see this when family expectations about success clash with what actually makes you happy
Social Expectations
In This Chapter
Montaigne feels pressure to be a competent landowner while preferring intellectual pursuits and travel
Development
Building on earlier themes about social roles—now examining the cost of meeting others' expectations
In Your Life:
This appears when you feel obligated to excel at things that drain you just because others expect it
Personal Growth
In This Chapter
He gains wisdom by accepting his limitations rather than trying to become someone he's not
Development
Matured from self-discovery to self-acceptance—growth through embracing rather than changing
In Your Life:
You experience this when you stop trying to fix your 'flaws' and start working with your natural tendencies
Human Relationships
In This Chapter
Montaigne craves both solitude for thinking and connection through his writing, seeing both as essential
Development
Expanded from personal relationships to his relationship with readers and society
In Your Life:
You feel this tension between needing alone time and wanting meaningful connection with others
Modern Adaptation
When the Promotion Goes Sideways
Following Arthur's story...
Arthur just got promoted to department chair, something he'd wanted for years. Now he sits in endless budget meetings while his real passion—teaching—gets squeezed into smaller windows. He loves the university but feels trapped by administrative duties he's terrible at. His office overlooks the quad where he used to walk between classes, thinking freely. Now he's managing course schedules and faculty complaints instead of exploring ideas. He finds himself taking long drives after work, needing space to think. The promotion brought respect and money, but also a creeping sense that he's becoming someone he doesn't recognize. He wants the responsibility but misses the freedom. He values the institution but resents its demands. Instead of fighting these contradictions, Arthur starts acknowledging them openly—to himself and others. He admits he's better at inspiring students than managing budgets, better at big ideas than small details.
The Road
The road Montaigne walked in 1580, Arthur walks today. The pattern is identical: loving something while feeling burdened by it, wanting both responsibility and freedom, accepting contradictions rather than forcing false consistency.
The Map
This chapter provides a tool for managing competing desires without self-deception. Arthur can name his contradictions honestly rather than pretending they don't exist.
Amplification
Before reading this, Arthur might have seen his mixed feelings as weakness, trying to force himself into the 'grateful administrator' role. Now he can NAME his competing desires, PREDICT when forced consistency will backfire, and NAVIGATE by honoring both sides of his nature.
You now have the context. Time to form your own thoughts.
Discussion Questions
- 1
Montaigne admits that writing about vanity is itself vain, yet he continues writing. What contradictions do you live with in your own life?
analysis • surface - 2
Why does Montaigne find managing his estate harder than managing his thoughts? What does this reveal about different types of intelligence?
analysis • medium - 3
Montaigne argues that radical change often makes things worse. Where do you see this pattern playing out in workplaces, families, or communities today?
application • medium - 4
When you feel torn between competing desires (like security vs. freedom), how do you typically handle it? What would change if you stopped trying to resolve the tension?
application • deep - 5
Montaigne embraces his contradictions rather than hiding them. What does this suggest about the relationship between honesty and psychological health?
reflection • deep
Critical Thinking Exercise
Map Your Productive Contradictions
List three areas where you experience competing desires or contradictory impulses (like wanting both independence and security, or craving recognition while valuing privacy). For each contradiction, write down how you currently handle it and what might happen if you stopped fighting the tension and instead managed both sides consciously.
Consider:
- •Notice which contradictions cause you the most stress or guilt
- •Consider whether the conflict comes from trying to be perfectly consistent
- •Think about people you know who seem comfortable with their own contradictions
Journaling Prompt
Write about a time when accepting a contradiction in yourself (rather than trying to resolve it) led to better outcomes or greater peace of mind.
Coming Up Next...
Chapter 104: Managing Your Will and Energy
Moving forward, we'll examine to protect your emotional energy by choosing your battles wisely, and understand the difference between lending yourself to others versus giving yourself away. These insights bridge the gap between classic literature and modern experience.