Original Text(~250 words)
CHAPTER XXXIX. MAKING FRIENDS. “Nay, I have done; you get no more of me; And I am glad, yea glad with all my heart, That thus so clearly I myself am free.” DRAYTON. Margaret shut herself up in her own room, after she had quitted Mrs. Thornton. She began to walk backwards and forwards, in her old habitual way of showing agitation; but, then, remembering that in that slightly-built house every step was heard from one room to another, she sate down until she heard Mrs. Thornton go safely out of the house. She forced herself to recollect all the conversation that had passed between them; speech by speech, she compelled her memory to go through with it. At the end, she rose up, and said to herself, in a melancholy tone: “At any rate, her words do not touch me; they fall off from me; for I am innocent of all the motives she attributes to me. But still, it is hard to think that any one—any woman—can believe all this of another so easily. It is hard and sad. Where I have done wrong, she does not accuse me—she does not know. He never told her: I might have known he would not!” She lifted up her head, as if she took pride in any delicacy of feeling which Mr. Thornton had shown. Then, as a new thought came across her, she pressed her hands tightly together: “He, too, must take poor Frederick for some lover.” (She blushed...
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Summary
Margaret spirals into emotional turmoil after Mrs. Thornton's accusations, realizing she's developed feelings for Mr. Thornton just as she believes he thinks poorly of her. She's tormented by the knowledge that he must assume Frederick was a lover, not her brother. Meanwhile, Nicholas Higgins visits Thornton seeking work and is initially refused with harsh words about meddling women. But Thornton has a change of heart—he investigates Higgins's character, discovers the man's genuine devotion to Boucher's children, and decides to offer him employment. When Thornton arrives at the Higgins home to make this offer, he's dismayed to find Margaret there, confirming she was the 'meddling woman.' Their subsequent encounter on the street is painfully awkward. Thornton tells Margaret he's hired Higgins but makes it clear he considers himself 'disinterested' in her personally, believing she has another attachment. Margaret, hurt but unable to explain about Frederick, accepts this coldly. Both are protecting themselves through pride and misunderstanding. The chapter shows how two people can be drawn to each other while simultaneously pushing each other away through assumptions and wounded feelings. Margaret tries to distract herself with forced cheerfulness, but everything reminds her of Thornton, suggesting her feelings run deeper than she wants to admit.
That's what happens. To understand what the author is really doing—and to discuss this chapter with confidence—keep reading.
Terms to Know
Delicacy of feeling
The Victorian ideal of emotional sensitivity and consideration for others' feelings, especially in matters of love and reputation. It meant being tactful and protective of someone's dignity even when you disagreed with them.
Modern Usage:
Today we might call this 'emotional intelligence' or 'being classy about it' - like not airing someone's business even when you're hurt by them.
Meddling woman
A dismissive Victorian term for women who involved themselves in men's business affairs or labor disputes. It reflected the belief that women should stay out of economic and political matters.
Modern Usage:
We still use 'meddling' today when someone gets involved where they supposedly don't belong, though women's involvement in business is now normal.
Disinterested
In Victorian usage, this meant having no personal romantic interest or attachment to someone, being emotionally uninvolved. It was often used to protect one's pride when feelings weren't reciprocated.
Modern Usage:
Today we might say 'I'm not interested' or 'I don't care' when we're trying to act like someone doesn't affect us emotionally.
Taking pride in
Finding satisfaction or comfort in someone's good qualities, especially when you're hurt by them. It shows conflicted feelings - being impressed by someone even when they've wounded you.
Modern Usage:
Like when you're mad at someone but still respect how they handled a situation - you can't help but admire them even when you're hurt.
Forced cheerfulness
Putting on a happy face when you're actually miserable inside, often to avoid questions or to try to convince yourself you're fine. A common coping mechanism when dealing with heartbreak.
Modern Usage:
Today we call this 'fake it till you make it' or putting on a brave face - acting upbeat when you're falling apart inside.
Character investigation
The Victorian practice of quietly asking around about someone's reputation, work ethic, and moral standing before making important decisions about them, especially for employment.
Modern Usage:
This is like doing a background check or asking for references before hiring someone, or stalking someone's social media before dating them.
Characters in This Chapter
Margaret Hale
Protagonist in emotional crisis
She's spiraling after realizing she has feelings for Thornton just as she believes he thinks poorly of her. She's tormented by misunderstandings she can't clear up without revealing Frederick's secret.
Modern Equivalent:
The woman who realizes she likes someone right when she thinks they hate her
Mr. Thornton
Love interest wrestling with pride
He makes the generous gesture of hiring Higgins but is cold to Margaret because he thinks she has another man. He's protecting himself from further hurt through emotional distance.
Modern Equivalent:
The guy who does the right thing professionally but acts distant personally because he thinks you're taken
Mrs. Thornton
Disapproving mother figure
Her harsh accusations to Margaret set off this emotional spiral. She represents the judgmental voice that can poison relationships through assumptions and gossip.
Modern Equivalent:
The disapproving mother-in-law who plants seeds of doubt
Nicholas Higgins
Working man seeking redemption
He swallows his pride to ask Thornton for work, representing the dignity of honest labor. His care for Boucher's children shows his true character beyond his radical reputation.
Modern Equivalent:
The union guy who has to ask the boss he fought with for a second chance
Why This Matters
Connect literature to life
This chapter teaches how to identify when you're pushing away what you want most to avoid potential hurt.
Practice This Today
This week, notice when you withdraw or get cold toward someone you care about—ask yourself if you're protecting yourself in a way that's destroying what you actually want.
You have the foundation. Now let's look closer.
Key Quotes & Analysis
"At any rate, her words do not touch me; they fall off from me; for I am innocent of all the motives she attributes to me."
Context: Margaret trying to convince herself that Mrs. Thornton's accusations don't hurt her
This shows Margaret's attempt at emotional self-protection, but the very fact she's analyzing every word proves how deeply the accusations did wound her. She's trying to build armor against pain that's already gotten through.
In Today's Words:
Whatever, her words can't hurt me because I know I didn't do what she's accusing me of.
"He never told her: I might have known he would not!"
Context: Margaret realizing Thornton didn't tell his mother about the railway station incident
This reveals Margaret's growing respect for Thornton's discretion and honor. Even in her pain, she recognizes his integrity in not sharing what could have damaged her reputation further.
In Today's Words:
He didn't throw me under the bus - I should have known he was too decent for that.
"I have spoken to her barely twice in my life, but I am sure she is, in her way, a very good woman."
Context: Thornton defending Margaret to Higgins while claiming to be 'disinterested'
This quote reveals Thornton's internal conflict - he's trying to sound indifferent while actually defending Margaret's character. His careful praise shows he still thinks highly of her despite believing she's attached to another man.
In Today's Words:
I barely know her, but she seems like a good person, I guess.
Intelligence Amplifier™ Analysis
The Road of Protective Pride - When Self-Defense Destroys What We Want Most
Using coldness, withdrawal, or rejection as armor against potential hurt, which often creates the very rejection we fear.
Thematic Threads
Pride
In This Chapter
Both Margaret and Thornton use pride as armor, declaring disinterest to protect themselves from perceived rejection
Development
Evolved from earlier class-based pride to deeply personal, defensive pride that prevents connection
In Your Life:
You might recognize this when you get cold with someone before they can hurt you first.
Miscommunication
In This Chapter
Margaret cannot explain Frederick's identity, leading Thornton to assume he's a lover rather than her brother
Development
Built from earlier misunderstandings about class and values into this deeply personal misinterpretation
In Your Life:
You've probably had situations where you couldn't explain the full truth and were misunderstood as a result.
Class
In This Chapter
Thornton initially refuses Higgins work with harsh words about 'meddling women,' showing class-based assumptions
Development
Continuing theme of how class prejudices affect personal relationships and employment decisions
In Your Life:
You might see this in how people make assumptions about others based on their job, neighborhood, or background.
Growth
In This Chapter
Thornton investigates Higgins's character and changes his mind, showing capacity for fairness over prejudice
Development
Thornton's gradual evolution from rigid class thinking to individual judgment
In Your Life:
You can recognize growth in yourself when you reconsider first impressions and change your mind based on evidence.
Hidden Feelings
In This Chapter
Margaret realizes her feelings for Thornton just as she believes he thinks poorly of her, creating internal torment
Development
Margaret's emotional awakening has been building throughout, now reaching painful clarity
In Your Life:
You know this feeling of realizing you care about someone just when you think they've written you off.
Modern Adaptation
When Pride Builds Walls
Following Margaret's story...
Margaret's emotional world crumbles after her supervisor's harsh accusations about interfering in the warehouse union vote. She realizes she's developed feelings for Jake, the plant manager she's been battling over worker safety—just as she believes he thinks she's unprofessional. She can't explain that her 'suspicious' late-night meeting was with her undocumented brother who needed legal help, not some romantic liaison. Meanwhile, Tommy Higgins, a laid-off worker Margaret recommended, gets called back by Jake after initially being rejected. Jake investigated Tommy's character, discovered his genuine care for his late friend's kids, and decided to rehire him. When Jake arrives at Tommy's apartment to deliver the news, he's crushed to find Margaret there—confirming she was the 'meddling' attorney. Their encounter in the parking lot afterward is painfully awkward. Jake tells Margaret he hired Tommy but makes it clear he considers himself 'professionally detached' from her, believing she has personal complications. Margaret, hurt but unable to explain about her brother's immigration status, accepts this coldly. Both use professional distance to protect wounded hearts.
The Road
The road Elizabeth Gaskell's Margaret walked in 1854, Margaret walks today. The pattern is identical: two people drawn to each other yet using pride as armor, creating the very distance they fear most.
The Map
This chapter provides a navigation tool for recognizing protective pride—when our attempts to avoid emotional pain actually guarantee it. Margaret can learn to pause before building walls that destroy what she wants most.
Amplification
Before reading this, Margaret might have seen Jake's coldness as simple rejection and responded with matching distance. Now she can NAME protective pride, PREDICT how it escalates, and NAVIGATE toward vulnerability instead of armor-plating her heart.
You now have the context. Time to form your own thoughts.
Discussion Questions
- 1
What causes both Margaret and Thornton to act cold toward each other even though they clearly care?
analysis • surface - 2
How does each character's attempt to protect themselves actually create the rejection they're trying to avoid?
analysis • medium - 3
Where have you seen this 'protective pride' pattern in your own workplace, family, or relationships?
application • medium - 4
When you feel vulnerable or potentially rejected, what's your go-to protective strategy, and does it actually help or hurt your situation?
reflection • deep - 5
What would it look like to stay open and vulnerable when every instinct tells you to put up walls?
application • deep
Critical Thinking Exercise
Map Your Protective Patterns
Think of a current relationship (work, family, romantic, friendship) where you feel some tension or distance. Write down what you're afraid might happen, then list the protective behaviors you use when that fear kicks in. Finally, honestly assess whether these protective moves are bringing you closer to what you want or pushing it further away.
Consider:
- •Notice if your protective strategy actually creates the outcome you fear most
- •Consider whether the other person might also be protecting themselves in ways that hurt the relationship
- •Think about what staying vulnerable for one more conversation might look like
Journaling Prompt
Write about a time when your attempt to protect yourself from rejection or hurt actually caused the very thing you were trying to avoid. What would you do differently now that you recognize this pattern?
Coming Up Next...
Chapter 40: When Words Cut Deeper Than Intended
In the next chapter, you'll discover unresolved feelings can poison ordinary interactions, and learn the danger of lashing out when we're emotionally wounded. These insights reveal timeless patterns that resonate in our own lives and relationships.