Original Text(~250 words)
CHAPTER XII Natásha was sixteen and it was the year 1809, the very year to which she had counted on her fingers with Borís after they had kissed four years ago. Since then she had not seen him. Before Sónya and her mother, if Borís happened to be mentioned, she spoke quite freely of that episode as of some childish, long-forgotten matter that was not worth mentioning. But in the secret depths of her soul the question whether her engagement to Borís was a jest or an important, binding promise tormented her. Since Borís left Moscow in 1805 to join the army he had not seen the Rostóvs. He had been in Moscow several times, and had passed near Otrádnoe, but had never been to see them. Sometimes it occurred to Natásha that he did not wish to see her, and this conjecture was confirmed by the sad tone in which her elders spoke of him. “Nowadays old friends are not remembered,” the countess would say when Borís was mentioned. Anna Mikháylovna also had of late visited them less frequently, seemed to hold herself with particular dignity, and always spoke rapturously and gratefully of the merits of her son and the brilliant career on which he had entered. When the Rostóvs came to Petersburg Borís called on them. He drove to their house in some agitation. The memory of Natásha was his most poetic recollection. But he went with the firm intention of letting her and her parents feel that...
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Summary
Four years after their childhood engagement, sixteen-year-old Natasha and Boris face the awkward reality of growing up. Boris has transformed himself into a polished Petersburg society man with military rank and connections to wealthy circles. He's strategically planning to marry a rich heiress to secure his future. When he visits the Rostovs, he intends to make it clear that their childhood promise means nothing now. But Natasha has grown into a stunning young woman, and Boris finds himself completely thrown off his calculated game plan. Instead of having the mature conversation he planned, he gets caught up in her charm and starts visiting daily. Natasha, meanwhile, seems to be playing her own game - neither acknowledging their past nor letting him forget it. She studies him with knowing eyes that make him increasingly uncomfortable, while treating him with just enough warmth to keep him coming back. Boris knows he should walk away - marrying her would destroy his career ambitions, but continuing to visit without serious intentions would be dishonorable. Yet he can't seem to stop himself. Every day he arrives planning to have 'the talk' and leaves having said nothing important. He's abandoning his wealthy connections and receiving angry notes from his patroness, all while getting more tangled in a situation he can't control. The chapter perfectly captures how we can become prisoners of our own indecision, especially when old emotional attachments conflict with new practical goals.
That's what happens. To understand what the author is really doing—and to discuss this chapter with confidence—keep reading.
Terms to Know
Engagement of convenience
A formal promise to marry based on social or financial advantage rather than love. In 19th century Russia, these arrangements were common among the nobility to secure wealth, status, or family connections.
Modern Usage:
We see this in strategic dating - people who pursue relationships primarily for career networking, social media clout, or financial security.
Social climbing
The deliberate effort to move up in social class by cultivating relationships with wealthy or influential people. Boris represents this perfectly - he's using his military position and charm to gain access to higher society.
Modern Usage:
Think of people who name-drop constantly, only attend events where they can network, or date someone primarily for their connections.
Patroness
A wealthy, influential woman who sponsors someone's career or social advancement in exchange for loyalty and service. These relationships were crucial for ambitious young men without family wealth.
Modern Usage:
Like having a powerful mentor at work who opens doors for you, but expects you to follow their advice and represent them well.
Coming of age
The transition from childhood to adulthood, marked by new social expectations and responsibilities. At sixteen, Natasha is now expected to think seriously about marriage and her future role in society.
Modern Usage:
Similar to when teenagers start thinking about college, careers, and serious relationships instead of just having fun.
Emotional manipulation
Using charm, mixed signals, or psychological tactics to control someone's behavior. Natasha seems to be doing this with Boris - keeping him interested without committing to anything.
Modern Usage:
Like someone who texts just enough to keep you hoping, but never makes concrete plans or defines the relationship.
Cognitive dissonance
The mental discomfort of holding two conflicting beliefs or desires simultaneously. Boris wants both social advancement and Natasha, even though these goals contradict each other.
Modern Usage:
When you know you should break up with someone but keep making excuses to stay, or wanting to eat healthy while craving junk food.
Characters in This Chapter
Natasha Rostova
Young woman coming of age
Now sixteen and beautiful, she's caught between her childhood promise to Boris and her growing awareness of her own power. She seems to be testing Boris, watching him struggle with his conflicted feelings while maintaining an air of innocent mystery.
Modern Equivalent:
The girl who knows exactly how attractive she is and enjoys watching guys squirm
Boris Drubetskoy
Ambitious social climber
He's transformed from a poor boy into a polished officer with connections to wealthy society. He came to break things off with Natasha but finds himself completely thrown off his game by her beauty and charm, visiting daily despite his better judgment.
Modern Equivalent:
The guy who's got his whole career mapped out but keeps getting distracted by his high school crush
Anna Mikhaylovna
Boris's ambitious mother
She's been working tirelessly to advance her son's career and social position. Her decreased visits to the Rostovs and formal manner suggest she disapproves of any renewed connection that might derail Boris's prospects.
Modern Equivalent:
The helicopter mom who's obsessed with her kid's success and doesn't want anything to mess up their plans
The Countess Rostova
Natasha's mother
She makes pointed comments about how 'old friends are not remembered,' clearly feeling hurt by Boris's long absence and perhaps suspicious of his current motives for visiting.
Modern Equivalent:
The mom who remembers every slight and isn't afraid to make passive-aggressive comments
Why This Matters
Connect literature to life
This chapter teaches how to spot when you're making small compromises that gradually derail your original plan while avoiding the hard decision you actually need to make.
Practice This Today
This week, notice when you keep saying 'just this once' or 'I'm just exploring' - these phrases often signal strategic drift in action.
You have the foundation. Now let's look closer.
Key Quotes & Analysis
"But in the secret depths of her soul the question whether her engagement to Boris was a jest or an important, binding promise tormented her."
Context: Describing Natasha's inner conflict about her childhood promise to Boris
This reveals how childhood commitments can haunt us as adults. Natasha publicly dismisses it as childish, but privately she's still wrestling with what it meant and whether it still matters.
In Today's Words:
She acted like it was no big deal, but deep down she couldn't stop wondering if he was serious back then.
"Nowadays old friends are not remembered."
Context: A pointed comment made whenever Boris's name comes up in conversation
This passive-aggressive remark shows the family's hurt feelings about Boris's absence. It's both a criticism of his behavior and a way to protect their pride by acting like they don't care.
In Today's Words:
I guess some people forget where they came from once they get successful.
"He went with the firm intention of letting her and her parents feel that the childish relations between himself and Natasha could not be binding on either of them."
Context: Describing Boris's mindset as he prepares to visit the Rostovs
Boris thinks he can control this situation through sheer willpower and clear communication. His confidence in his 'firm intention' sets up the irony of how completely Natasha will derail his plans.
In Today's Words:
He was going to go over there and make it crystal clear that kid stuff doesn't count anymore.
Intelligence Amplifier™ Analysis
The Road of Strategic Drift
Getting emotionally pulled off a clear plan through small daily compromises that feel harmless but compound into major life derailment.
Thematic Threads
Class Ambition
In This Chapter
Boris has carefully cultivated his image as a Petersburg society man and knows marrying Natasha would destroy his access to wealthy circles
Development
Evolved from earlier themes of social climbing—now showing the personal cost of these calculations
In Your Life:
You might recognize this when you find yourself changing who you are to fit into circles that could advance your career or social status
Emotional vs. Rational
In This Chapter
Boris's rational plan to marry for money conflicts with his genuine attraction to Natasha, creating paralysis
Development
Builds on ongoing tension between heart and head that runs throughout the novel
In Your Life:
You see this when you know what the smart choice is but your feelings keep pulling you toward something that could hurt your future
Indecision
In This Chapter
Boris visits daily planning to have 'the conversation' but never does, trapped by his own inability to choose
Development
Introduced here as a specific manifestation of how people avoid difficult choices
In Your Life:
You experience this when you keep postponing important conversations or decisions, hoping the situation will somehow resolve itself
Social Performance
In This Chapter
Both Boris and Natasha are performing roles—he the sophisticated officer, she the knowing young woman who won't make things easy
Development
Continues the theme of how people present calculated versions of themselves in social situations
In Your Life:
You might notice this when you're both playing games instead of being direct about what you want from each other
Honor vs. Self-Interest
In This Chapter
Boris knows continuing to visit without serious intentions is dishonorable, but his self-interest in avoiding difficult choices wins
Development
Deepens the exploration of how personal desires can compromise ethical behavior
In Your Life:
You face this when you know the right thing to do would require sacrifice, so you find ways to justify doing what's easier instead
Modern Adaptation
When the Plan Gets Hijacked
Following Andrew's story...
Andrew had it all figured out after selling his startup - he'd take six months to 'find himself,' then launch something meaningful. But then he started volunteering at the community center where Maya works as a social worker. She's everything his tech world wasn't: grounded, passionate about helping kids, completely unimpressed by his money. He tells himself he's just exploring philanthropy, but he's there every day now, teaching coding to teenagers and staying late to walk Maya to her car. His business advisor keeps calling about investor meetings Andrew is missing. His accountant warns that his charitable donations are getting excessive. Maya treats him with friendly professionalism that keeps him guessing - she clearly enjoys their conversations but deflects anything personal. Andrew knows he should either commit to this new path or get back to his business plans, but instead he's stuck in limbo, making neither choice while both opportunities slowly slip away.
The Road
The road Boris walked in 1869, Andrew walks today. The pattern is identical: strategic drift - having a clear plan but getting emotionally pulled off course, then making small compromises that gradually derail everything.
The Map
This chapter provides a navigation tool for recognizing when you're drifting between two paths without choosing either. Andrew can use it to force a decision deadline instead of letting indecision make the choice for him.
Amplification
Before reading this, Andrew might have kept telling himself he was 'just exploring options' while watching both paths close. Now he can NAME strategic drift, PREDICT where endless compromise leads, and NAVIGATE by setting clear decision points.
You now have the context. Time to form your own thoughts.
Discussion Questions
- 1
What was Boris's original plan when he came to visit the Rostovs, and what actually happened instead?
analysis • surface - 2
Why does Boris keep visiting Natasha daily even though he knows it's sabotaging his career goals?
analysis • medium - 3
Where do you see this pattern of 'strategic drift' - having a clear plan but getting emotionally pulled off course - in modern life?
application • medium - 4
If you were Boris's friend, what specific advice would you give him to break out of this cycle of indecision?
application • deep - 5
What does this chapter reveal about how small daily choices can completely derail our bigger life plans?
reflection • deep
Critical Thinking Exercise
Map Your Own Strategic Drift
Think of an area in your life where you have a clear goal or plan, but you keep making small compromises that pull you off course. Draw a simple timeline showing where you started, where you wanted to go, and where these daily choices are actually taking you. What's the emotional pull that keeps you drifting?
Consider:
- •What are you telling yourself about these small compromises versus what they're actually costing you?
- •What would happen if you set a firm decision deadline like 'I'll choose by Friday'?
- •Who or what benefits from keeping you in this state of indecision?
Journaling Prompt
Write about a time when you got caught between what you knew you should do and what felt good in the moment. How did that tension resolve, and what did you learn about your own decision-making patterns?
Coming Up Next...
Chapter 119: Mother-Daughter Midnight Confessions
Moving forward, we'll examine intimate conversations reveal true feelings and motivations, and understand young people often see the world in colors and metaphors adults don't understand. These insights bridge the gap between classic literature and modern experience.