Original Text(~250 words)
CHAPTER XXIII Prince Andrew needed his father’s consent to his marriage, and to obtain this he started for the country next day. His father received his son’s communication with external composure, but inward wrath. He could not comprehend how anyone could wish to alter his life or introduce anything new into it, when his own life was already ending. “If only they would let me end my days as I want to,” thought the old man, “then they might do as they please.” With his son, however, he employed the diplomacy he reserved for important occasions and, adopting a quiet tone, discussed the whole matter. In the first place the marriage was not a brilliant one as regards birth, wealth, or rank. Secondly, Prince Andrew was no longer as young as he had been and his health was poor (the old man laid special stress on this), while she was very young. Thirdly, he had a son whom it would be a pity to entrust to a chit of a girl. “Fourthly and finally,” the father said, looking ironically at his son, “I beg you to put it off for a year: go abroad, take a cure, look out as you wanted to for a German tutor for Prince Nicholas. Then if your love or passion or obstinacy—as you please—is still as great, marry! And that’s my last word on it. Mind, the last...” concluded the prince, in a tone which showed that nothing would make him alter his decision....
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Summary
Prince Andrew seeks his father's blessing to marry Natasha, but the old prince imposes a harsh condition: they must wait a full year before wedding. The father's reasoning is practical—Andrew's poor health, Natasha's youth, and his hope the romance will fade. Meanwhile, Natasha suffers through three weeks of Andrew's unexplained absence, cycling through heartbreak, self-doubt, and forced cheerfulness. When Andrew finally returns to propose, both experience a shift in their feelings. Andrew notices his love has transformed from passionate desire to protective duty, while Natasha feels overwhelmed by the reality of becoming wife to this intimidating man. The year-long engagement becomes official, but Natasha is devastated by the delay. This chapter exposes how external pressures and time can change the nature of love itself. Andrew's father essentially weaponizes waiting, betting that young passion cannot survive practical obstacles. For Natasha, the gap between romantic fantasy and adult commitment becomes starkly apparent. The chapter reveals how family dynamics shape personal choices, and how the very act of seeking approval can alter what we thought we wanted. Both lovers discover that getting what you want often comes with unexpected costs and complications.
That's what happens. To understand what the author is really doing—and to discuss this chapter with confidence—keep reading.
Terms to Know
Arranged Marriage Politics
The practice of families negotiating marriages based on social status, wealth, and family connections rather than love. Parents held ultimate authority over their children's marriage choices, viewing it as a business transaction that affected the entire family's standing.
Modern Usage:
We still see this in families who pressure kids to date 'the right kind of person' or parents who judge partners by their job, education, or background rather than how they treat their child.
Patriarchal Authority
The absolute power fathers held over their adult children's major life decisions. In Russian aristocratic society, a father's approval was legally and socially required for marriage, regardless of the child's age or wishes.
Modern Usage:
Today this shows up as parents who use money, guilt, or emotional manipulation to control their adult children's relationships, careers, or life choices.
Strategic Delay
The deliberate use of waiting periods to test or weaken someone's resolve. Prince Andrew's father imposes a year-long engagement, betting that time will cool their passion and possibly end the relationship entirely.
Modern Usage:
We see this when people stall on commitments hoping the other person will change their mind, or when parents make kids 'prove' their dedication to relationships or goals through waiting.
Diplomatic Tone
Speaking in a carefully controlled, formal manner to hide true emotions while maintaining authority. The old prince uses calm, reasonable-sounding language to deliver what is essentially an ultimatum.
Modern Usage:
This is the corporate speak managers use when delivering bad news, or the 'polite' way toxic family members control situations while appearing reasonable.
Social Mismatch
When potential marriage partners come from different social classes, wealth levels, or family standings. In aristocratic society, marrying 'beneath' your station was seen as damaging to family honor and practical interests.
Modern Usage:
Today this appears as class anxiety about dating someone with less education, different income levels, or from a different social background.
Emotional Deterioration
How strong feelings can weaken or change character when subjected to stress, waiting, or external pressure. Both Andrew and Natasha find their love transformed by the obstacles they face.
Modern Usage:
We see this when couples who were passionate early on find their feelings fade under family pressure, long-distance stress, or other real-world complications.
Characters in This Chapter
Prince Andrew
Conflicted protagonist
Seeks his father's blessing for marriage but discovers that pursuing approval changes his own feelings. His love transforms from passionate desire to protective duty, showing how external validation can alter internal emotions.
Modern Equivalent:
The guy who needs his parents' approval so badly that he loses sight of what he actually wants
Old Prince Bolkonsky
Controlling patriarch
Uses his authority to impose a year-long waiting period, employing 'reasonable' arguments to mask his desire to control his son's life. He weaponizes practical concerns to get his way while appearing diplomatic.
Modern Equivalent:
The controlling parent who uses guilt, money, and 'practical concerns' to manipulate their adult children's choices
Natasha
Young woman in love
Experiences the harsh reality of adult relationships when faced with family opposition and delays. Her romantic idealism crashes against the practical obstacles of aristocratic marriage politics.
Modern Equivalent:
The young person who discovers that 'love conquers all' doesn't work when families, money, and social pressures get involved
Prince Nicholas
Andrew's young son
Used by the old prince as leverage in his argument against the marriage. Represents the practical concerns that complicate romantic decisions when children from previous relationships are involved.
Modern Equivalent:
The kid from a previous relationship who becomes a bargaining chip in family arguments about new relationships
Why This Matters
Connect literature to life
This chapter teaches how to recognize when someone uses delay tactics to kill your enthusiasm or make you give up on what you want.
Practice This Today
This week, notice when someone says 'let's wait and see' about something important to you—ask yourself if the delay serves their interests more than yours.
You have the foundation. Now let's look closer.
Key Quotes & Analysis
"If only they would let me end my days as I want to, then they might do as they please."
Context: The father's internal reaction when Andrew announces his intention to marry
Reveals the old man's selfishness disguised as wisdom. He frames his control as temporary inconvenience rather than acknowledging he's manipulating his son's life for his own comfort.
In Today's Words:
Why can't everyone just leave me alone until I'm dead, then do whatever you want?
"I beg you to put it off for a year: go abroad, take a cure, look out as you wanted to for a German tutor for Prince Nicholas."
Context: His 'diplomatic' proposal for delaying the marriage
Shows how controlling people package demands as reasonable requests. He's not asking - he's commanding while making it sound like practical advice.
In Today's Words:
Take a year to think about it, maybe travel, get your head straight, and handle your other responsibilities first.
"And that's my last word on it. Mind, the last..."
Context: Concluding his ultimatum to Andrew about the marriage delay
The mask slips to reveal the authoritarian beneath the diplomat. This is pure power play - no negotiation, no discussion, just absolute control disguised as parental wisdom.
In Today's Words:
This isn't up for debate. I've made my decision and that's final.
Intelligence Amplifier™ Analysis
The Road of Weaponized Waiting
Using delay as a power tool to erode someone's resolve or kill their desires without directly saying no.
Thematic Threads
Power
In This Chapter
The old prince uses his authority to impose conditions that serve his interests, not Andrew's or Natasha's
Development
Power dynamics between generations and social classes continue to shape personal choices
In Your Life:
You might see this when authority figures use their position to control your timeline rather than support your goals.
Identity
In This Chapter
Both Andrew and Natasha discover their feelings have changed when forced to examine them under pressure
Development
Characters continue to evolve as external pressures reveal their true selves
In Your Life:
You might find that getting what you thought you wanted reveals you've changed or want something different.
Social Expectations
In This Chapter
Family approval becomes more important than personal desire, reshaping the relationship itself
Development
Social pressures continue to override individual wishes throughout the story
In Your Life:
You might face situations where seeking approval from others changes what you actually want to do.
Human Relationships
In This Chapter
Love transforms from passion to duty when subjected to external conditions and delays
Development
Relationships continue to be tested by practical realities rather than romantic ideals
In Your Life:
You might notice how waiting periods and external pressures can change the nature of your relationships.
Personal Growth
In This Chapter
Both characters mature through disappointment, learning that getting what you want often comes with unexpected costs
Development
Characters grow through facing harsh realities rather than achieving their dreams easily
In Your Life:
You might find that major life decisions reveal new aspects of yourself you didn't expect.
Modern Adaptation
When Love Meets Family Politics
Following Andrew's story...
Andrew finally works up courage to ask his girlfriend Maya's traditional father for her hand in marriage. The father doesn't say no—he says they must wait two years while Andrew 'proves himself financially stable.' Andrew makes decent money at the warehouse, but the father wants to see savings, career advancement, maybe a house down payment. Maya is crushed by the delay, having already planned their life together. During the waiting period, Andrew notices his feelings shifting from passionate love to anxious obligation. Maya grows distant, questioning whether Andrew really wants this or is just going through motions. The father's 'reasonable' condition has poisoned what felt natural and right. Both realize that having to prove their love to others has changed the love itself. The two-year timeline looms like a test neither asked for, turning their relationship into a performance for Maya's family approval.
The Road
The road Prince Andrew walked in 1869, Andrew walks today. The pattern is identical: when authority figures weaponize waiting, they transform desire into duty and passion into performance.
The Map
This chapter provides a navigation tool for recognizing when delays are weapons. Andrew can identify when someone uses time to erode his enthusiasm rather than serve legitimate purposes.
Amplification
Before reading this, Andrew might have accepted the father's timeline as reasonable family concern. Now he can NAME weaponized waiting, PREDICT how delay will change his relationship, NAVIGATE by setting his own deadlines and boundaries.
You now have the context. Time to form your own thoughts.
Discussion Questions
- 1
Why does Prince Andrew's father impose a one-year waiting period before the marriage can happen?
analysis • surface - 2
How do both Andrew and Natasha's feelings change during their separation and after his proposal?
analysis • medium - 3
Where have you seen people use waiting as a strategy to control outcomes in modern situations?
application • medium - 4
If you were Natasha, how would you respond to being told you must wait a full year for something you want now?
application • deep - 5
What does this chapter reveal about how external pressure and time can change our deepest feelings?
reflection • deep
Critical Thinking Exercise
Identify the Waiting Game
Think of a current situation where someone is making you wait for something important - a job decision, medical appointment, relationship milestone, or major purchase. Map out who benefits from the delay and who suffers. Then identify whether this waiting serves a legitimate purpose or if someone is hoping your enthusiasm will fade.
Consider:
- •Who has the power to end the waiting period and what do they gain by extending it?
- •How has the waiting already changed your feelings about what you originally wanted?
- •What would happen if you set your own deadline and walked away if it isn't met?
Journaling Prompt
Write about a time when forced waiting changed your mind about something you once desperately wanted. Was the outcome better or worse than if you had gotten what you wanted immediately?
Coming Up Next...
Chapter 130: Love's Quiet Revolution
In the next chapter, you'll discover healthy relationships transform both partners naturally, and learn giving someone freedom can strengthen commitment. These insights reveal timeless patterns that resonate in our own lives and relationships.