Original Text(~90 words)
Be not elated at any excellence not your own. If a horse should be elated, and say, “I am handsome,” it might be endurable. But when you are elated and say, “I have a handsome horse,” know that you are elated only on the merit of the horse. What then is your own? The use of the phenomena of existence. So that when you are in harmony with nature in this respect, you will be elated with some reason; for you will be elated at some good of your own.
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Summary
Epictetus uses a simple but powerful example to teach us about misplaced pride. He imagines a horse bragging about being handsome—which would be ridiculous, since the horse didn't choose its appearance. But when we brag about having a beautiful horse, we're making the same mistake. We're taking credit for something that isn't really ours. This chapter cuts to the heart of a common human tendency: we love to bask in reflected glory. We feel proud of our attractive partner, our successful kids, our expensive car, or our talented team. But Epictetus argues this kind of pride is built on shaky ground because these things are outside our control. Your partner's looks, your child's achievements, your team's performance—none of these are truly 'yours' in the sense that you created or control them. So what is actually yours? Your responses, your choices, your character, and how you handle whatever life throws at you. When you align your actions with your values and respond wisely to circumstances, then you have genuine reason for satisfaction. This isn't about never enjoying good things in your life—it's about understanding where your real power lies. When you stop depending on external things for your sense of worth, you become much more resilient. You can appreciate your beautiful horse without your self-esteem depending on it.
That's what happens. To understand what the author is really doing—and to discuss this chapter with confidence—keep reading.
Terms to Know
Stoicism
A philosophy that teaches you to focus only on what you can control and accept what you cannot. It emphasizes personal responsibility and inner strength rather than depending on external circumstances for happiness.
Modern Usage:
When someone stays calm during a crisis or doesn't let other people's drama affect them, they're practicing Stoic principles.
External goods
Things outside your direct control like other people's actions, your appearance, wealth, or reputation. Stoics believed these shouldn't be the foundation of your self-worth because you can lose them at any time.
Modern Usage:
Social media likes, your partner's success, or your car's value are all external goods that many people mistakenly use to measure their worth.
Reflected glory
Taking pride in achievements or qualities that belong to someone or something else, not yourself. It's feeling important because of your association with successful or attractive people or things.
Modern Usage:
Parents who brag constantly about their kids' grades or people who name-drop famous acquaintances are basking in reflected glory.
True possession
According to Epictetus, the only things you truly 'own' are your thoughts, choices, and responses to situations. Everything else can be taken away from you.
Modern Usage:
Your work ethic, how you treat people, and your attitude during tough times are your true possessions that no one can steal.
Harmony with nature
Living according to reason and virtue, accepting your role in the larger order of things. For Stoics, this meant using your mind properly and responding to life with wisdom rather than emotion.
Modern Usage:
Someone who stays true to their values even when it's difficult is living in harmony with their nature as a rational being.
Elation
Excessive pride or joy, especially when it's based on something temporary or outside your control. Epictetus warns against this kind of emotional high because it leads to inevitable crashes.
Modern Usage:
Getting too excited about a promotion, a new relationship, or winning the lottery sets you up for disappointment when things change.
Characters in This Chapter
The horse
Metaphorical example
Epictetus imagines a horse bragging about being handsome to show how absurd it would be for something to take credit for qualities it didn't choose or create. The horse represents anyone who claims ownership of gifts they didn't earn.
Modern Equivalent:
The person who brags about their natural looks or inherited wealth
The horse owner
Cautionary example
Represents people who feel proud about possessing beautiful or valuable things that reflect well on them. This person makes the mistake of building their identity around external possessions rather than personal character.
Modern Equivalent:
The parent who only talks about their successful kid or the person whose whole personality is their expensive car
Epictetus
Teacher and narrator
As both the author and moral guide, he uses simple examples to teach complex philosophical principles. He speaks directly to the reader, offering practical wisdom about where to find genuine self-worth.
Modern Equivalent:
The wise mentor who helps you see through your own self-deception
Why This Matters
Connect literature to life
This chapter teaches you to recognize when you're taking credit for things outside your control versus feeling genuine satisfaction from your own efforts.
Practice This Today
This week, notice when you feel proud or ashamed—ask yourself 'Did I actually create this outcome, or am I just connected to it?'
You have the foundation. Now let's look closer.
Key Quotes & Analysis
"Be not elated at any excellence not your own."
Context: Opening instruction warning against misplaced pride
This sets up the entire lesson about the difference between what belongs to you and what doesn't. Epictetus is warning that pride based on external things is unstable and ultimately harmful to your peace of mind.
In Today's Words:
Don't get a big head over stuff that isn't really about you.
"What then is your own? The use of the phenomena of existence."
Context: After explaining what doesn't belong to us, he reveals what does
This is the core Stoic teaching: you own your responses, your choices, and how you handle whatever life throws at you. Everything else is just raw material for you to work with wisely or poorly.
In Today's Words:
The only thing that's really yours is how you deal with whatever happens to you.
"If a horse should be elated, and say, 'I am handsome,' it might be endurable."
Context: Setting up the analogy to show the absurdity of misplaced pride
He uses humor to make his point stick. A horse bragging about its looks is silly but at least the horse is talking about itself. When we brag about our horse's looks, we're being even more ridiculous.
In Today's Words:
It would be weird but understandable if a horse bragged about being good-looking.
"You will be elated at some good of your own."
Context: Promising that proper focus leads to legitimate satisfaction
Epictetus isn't against feeling good about yourself - he's teaching you to feel good about the right things. When your pride is based on your character and choices, it's unshakeable because no one can take those away from you.
In Today's Words:
Then you'll have real reasons to feel proud of yourself.
Intelligence Amplifier™ Analysis
The Road of Borrowed Glory
Taking pride in external achievements while neglecting the internal responses that actually belong to us.
Thematic Threads
Pride
In This Chapter
Epictetus shows how misplaced pride in external things makes us vulnerable and dependent on factors beyond our control
Development
Introduced here as a fundamental barrier to wisdom
In Your Life:
You might feel this when bragging about your child's achievements while neglecting your own growth as a parent
Control
In This Chapter
The chapter clearly distinguishes between what belongs to us (our responses) and what doesn't (external outcomes)
Development
Builds on earlier themes about focusing energy where we have actual power
In Your Life:
You experience this when you stress about things like your partner's mood instead of managing your own reactions
Identity
In This Chapter
Shows how we build false identities based on external possessions and associations rather than character
Development
Introduced here as a core philosophical challenge
In Your Life:
You might catch yourself defining your worth by your job title, neighborhood, or family's successes
Social Expectations
In This Chapter
Reveals how society encourages us to seek status through external markers rather than internal development
Development
Introduced here as a cultural trap that leads to misplaced values
In Your Life:
You feel this pressure when posting carefully curated social media content to project an image of success
Personal Growth
In This Chapter
Points toward genuine development through focusing on our responses and choices rather than external validation
Development
Builds on earlier themes about where real power and satisfaction lie
In Your Life:
You experience this when you choose to improve your own skills instead of just hoping for better circumstances
Modern Adaptation
When the Promotion Goes Sideways
Following Ellen's story...
Marcus worked double shifts for months, training the new hires and covering for sick colleagues. When the supervisor position opened up, everyone assumed he'd get it. Instead, it went to Janet, whose brother-in-law sits on the hospital board. At the staff meeting, Marcus felt his face burn as colleagues offered awkward congratulations to Janet. Later, his girlfriend tried to comfort him: 'You deserved that job. You're twice the worker she is.' But Marcus realized something uncomfortable—he'd been banking his self-worth on getting that promotion, just like he used to brag about his cousin's NFL draft pick as if he'd somehow contributed to it. The promotion was never really 'his' to begin with. What was his? The quality of patient care he provided every shift. The respect he'd earned from colleagues through consistent reliability. The way he handled this disappointment would define his character more than any title ever could. He couldn't control hospital politics, but he could control whether he became bitter or continued being the person his patients could count on.
The Road
The road Epictetus walked in ancient Rome, Marcus walks today in a modern hospital. The pattern is identical: we claim ownership of outcomes beyond our control while neglecting the character choices that actually belong to us.
The Map
This chapter provides a reality-testing tool: before taking pride or feeling shame about any situation, ask 'What part of this actually belongs to me?' Focus your energy and emotions there.
Amplification
Before reading this, Marcus might have spent weeks replaying the promotion decision, wondering what he did wrong or plotting revenge. Now he can NAME the pattern of misplaced ownership, PREDICT that external validation will always be unreliable, and NAVIGATE by investing in the character qualities he actually controls.
You now have the context. Time to form your own thoughts.
Discussion Questions
- 1
Why does Epictetus say it would be ridiculous for a horse to brag about being beautiful?
analysis • surface - 2
What's the difference between enjoying something good in your life versus building your identity around it?
analysis • medium - 3
Where do you see people today taking credit for things they didn't actually create or control?
application • medium - 4
How would you handle a situation where someone you care about achieves something impressive - without making their success about you?
application • deep - 5
What does this chapter reveal about why we're drawn to borrowed glory instead of earned satisfaction?
reflection • deep
Critical Thinking Exercise
Sort Your Territory
Make two lists: things you've felt proud of recently, and things you've worried about. For each item, mark whether it's truly 'yours' (something you directly control through your choices and actions) or 'borrowed' (dependent on other people, circumstances, or luck). Notice which category dominates each list.
Consider:
- •Be honest about what you actually control versus what you influence
- •Look for patterns in where you place your emotional energy
- •Consider how much mental space you give to borrowed versus earned territory
Journaling Prompt
Write about one item from your 'borrowed' list that you've been treating as if it belonged to you. What would change if you focused that same energy on something genuinely within your control?
Coming Up Next...
Chapter 7: Stay Ready to Let Go
The coming pages reveal to hold things lightly while still enjoying them, and teach us being mentally prepared for loss reduces suffering. These discoveries help us navigate similar situations in our own lives.