Original Text(~250 words)
NOT TO COUNTERFEIT BEING SICK There is an epigram in Martial, and one of the very good ones--for he has of all sorts--where he pleasantly tells the story of Caelius, who, to avoid making his court to some great men of Rome, to wait their rising, and to attend them abroad, pretended to have the gout; and the better to colour this anointed his legs, and had them lapped up in a great many swathings, and perfectly counterfeited both the gesture and countenance of a gouty person; till in the end, Fortune did him the kindness to make him one indeed: “Quantum curs potest et ars doloris Desiit fingere Caelius podagram.” [“How great is the power of counterfeiting pain: Caelius has ceased to feign the gout; he has got it.”--Martial, Ep., vii. 39, 8.] I think I have read somewhere in Appian a story like this, of one who to escape the proscriptions of the triumvirs of Rome, and the better to be concealed from the discovery of those who pursued him, having hidden himself in a disguise, would yet add this invention, to counterfeit having but one eye; but when he came to have a little more liberty, and went to take off the plaster he had a great while worn over his eye, he found he had totally lost the sight of it indeed, and that it was absolutely gone. ‘Tis possible that the action of sight was dulled from having been so long without exercise, and that...
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Summary
Montaigne explores the dangerous territory of faking illness or disability, sharing stories that reveal how pretense can become reality. He tells of Caelius, who pretended to have gout to avoid social obligations, only to develop real gout. Another man disguised himself with an eye patch to escape political persecution, but when he finally removed it, he had actually lost sight in that eye. These aren't just quirky anecdotes—they're warnings about the power of our actions and thoughts to shape our reality. Montaigne extends this idea beyond physical ailments to character flaws. He quotes Seneca's story of a blind fool who doesn't realize she's blind, insisting the house is just dark. This becomes a metaphor for how we all blind ourselves to our own faults—claiming we're not greedy while hoarding money, or insisting we're not angry while constantly losing our temper. The essay reveals how we often become what we pretend to be, whether through habit, self-deception, or the strange ways our bodies respond to prolonged acting. Montaigne's personal confession—that he carries a walking stick for style, knowing it might one day become necessary—shows his awareness of this principle. The deeper message is about honest self-examination: we can't fix problems we refuse to see, and the longer we pretend everything's fine, the harder it becomes to heal what's actually broken.
That's what happens. To understand what the author is really doing—and to discuss this chapter with confidence—keep reading.
Terms to Know
Proscription
In ancient Rome, a public decree that declared someone an enemy of the state, essentially putting a bounty on their head. The triumvirs used proscription lists to eliminate political enemies legally. It was a death sentence disguised as law.
Modern Usage:
Today we see this in cancel culture, blacklisting, or when governments declare someone a terrorist or enemy combatant.
Triumvirs
Three powerful Roman leaders who ruled together, sharing power in an unofficial alliance. Montaigne refers to the Second Triumvirate of Mark Antony, Octavian, and Lepidus, who used proscription lists to eliminate enemies. They were like a political gang with legal authority.
Modern Usage:
Similar to when three major corporations dominate an industry, or when political power brokers work behind the scenes to control outcomes.
Counterfeit
To fake or imitate something, especially illness or disability. In Montaigne's time, this was both a survival strategy and a moral question. The word carries weight because it suggests deliberate deception rather than innocent pretending.
Modern Usage:
We see this in people faking mental health issues for attention, calling in sick when healthy, or pretending to have disabilities for benefits.
Gout
A painful joint disease that was common among wealthy Romans who could afford rich food and wine. It was often seen as a disease of excess and leisure. Having gout meant you couldn't walk easily, providing a perfect excuse to avoid social obligations.
Modern Usage:
Today's equivalent might be claiming chronic fatigue, back pain, or anxiety to avoid work or social commitments.
Epigram
A short, witty poem that makes a sharp point, often with a surprising twist at the end. Martial was famous for these clever verses that skewered Roman society. They're like ancient Twitter burns but with more literary skill.
Modern Usage:
Modern epigrams show up as viral tweets, memes, or those clever one-liners that capture a universal truth in just a few words.
Self-deception
The act of convincing yourself that something false is true, often to avoid uncomfortable realities about yourself or your situation. Montaigne sees this as one of humanity's most dangerous tendencies because it prevents real growth or healing.
Modern Usage:
This appears everywhere today: addicts who insist they can quit anytime, people who claim they're not racist while avoiding diverse neighborhoods, or anyone who says 'I'm fine' when they're clearly not.
Characters in This Chapter
Caelius
Cautionary example
A Roman who faked having gout to avoid his social duties of attending to powerful men. He wrapped his legs, limped convincingly, and acted the part so well that he actually developed real gout. His story shows how pretense can become reality.
Modern Equivalent:
The person who calls in sick so often they actually get fired and lose their health insurance
Martial
Ancient observer
The Roman poet who wrote the epigram about Caelius that Montaigne quotes. He was known for his sharp, witty observations about human behavior and Roman society's absurdities. His work provides the moral framework for the chapter.
Modern Equivalent:
The comedian or social media influencer who points out society's hypocrisies with humor
The one-eyed man
Tragic example
An unnamed person who disguised himself with an eye patch to escape political persecution. When he finally felt safe enough to remove the fake covering, he discovered he had actually lost sight in that eye. His story illustrates the physical cost of prolonged deception.
Modern Equivalent:
The person who pretends to be someone else online so long they lose track of who they really are
The blind fool
Metaphorical warning
From Seneca's story, a woman who is blind but refuses to acknowledge it, instead insisting that the house is just dark. She represents our tendency to blame external circumstances rather than face our own limitations or problems.
Modern Equivalent:
The person who blames everyone else for their problems but never looks in the mirror
Why This Matters
Connect literature to life
This chapter teaches how to recognize when we're training ourselves into limitations through repeated behaviors and excuses.
Practice This Today
This week, notice when you fake incompetence, illness, or helplessness to avoid tasks—then ask where that performance might lead if you keep it up.
You have the foundation. Now let's look closer.
Key Quotes & Analysis
"How great is the power of counterfeiting pain: Caelius has ceased to feign the gout; he has got it."
Context: The punchline of Martial's epigram about the man who faked illness
This quote captures the central irony of the chapter: that our pretenses can become our reality. It suggests that our bodies and minds don't always distinguish between what we're faking and what's real, especially when we maintain the act for too long.
In Today's Words:
Be careful what you fake—you might end up stuck with it for real.
"We are all patchwork, and so shapeless and diverse in composition that each bit, each moment, plays its own game."
Context: His reflection on human inconsistency and self-deception
Montaigne acknowledges that we're all contradictory beings, constantly changing and often inconsistent. This quote shows his understanding that self-knowledge is difficult precisely because we're not fixed, stable creatures but complex, shifting combinations of traits and impulses.
In Today's Words:
We're all a hot mess of contradictions, and every day we're basically winging it.
"There is no man so good that if he placed all his actions and thoughts under the scrutiny of the laws, he would not deserve hanging ten times over."
Context: His observation about universal human imperfection
This quote reveals Montaigne's belief that we all have dark thoughts and impulses we'd rather not acknowledge. It's both humbling and liberating—humbling because it admits our flaws, liberating because it suggests we're all in the same boat of imperfection.
In Today's Words:
If everyone's browser history became public, we'd all be canceled.
Intelligence Amplifier™ Analysis
The Road of Becoming What You Fake
We gradually become what we consistently pretend to be, as our minds and bodies adapt to the roles we repeatedly perform.
Thematic Threads
Self-Deception
In This Chapter
Montaigne shows how we blind ourselves to our own faults while clearly seeing others' problems
Development
Builds on earlier themes of self-knowledge, showing the active ways we avoid truth
In Your Life:
You might refuse to see your own anger while criticizing others for losing their temper
Identity
In This Chapter
Characters literally become the false identities they've adopted through prolonged pretense
Development
Deepens earlier exploration of authentic self by showing how performance shapes identity
In Your Life:
The persona you put on at work might be slowly becoming your real personality
Physical Reality
In This Chapter
Bodies respond to mental states and behaviors, making fake ailments become real ones
Development
Introduced here as a new dimension of mind-body connection
In Your Life:
Stress you pretend not to have might manifest as actual physical symptoms
Social Expectations
In This Chapter
People fake conditions to meet social demands or escape obligations
Development
Continues theme of how social pressure shapes behavior, now showing long-term consequences
In Your Life:
You might exaggerate being busy to avoid commitments you don't want
Personal Growth
In This Chapter
Montaigne's honest self-examination about his walking stick shows awareness of this pattern
Development
Reinforces ongoing theme of brutal self-honesty as path to wisdom
In Your Life:
Real growth requires admitting what you're actually doing versus what you claim to be doing
Modern Adaptation
When the Promotion Goes Sideways
Following Arthur's story...
Arthur started limping slightly during faculty meetings, claiming an old sports injury flared up whenever department politics got heated. It began as a convenient excuse to leave early or avoid standing during long presentations about budget cuts. Colleagues showed sympathy, offered chairs, stopped expecting him to take on physical tasks like moving boxes or setting up events. The limp became his escape hatch from uncomfortable situations. But after six months of favoring his left leg, Arthur noticed real pain developing. His hip ached constantly now, his gait had permanently shifted, and what started as performance had rewired his movement patterns. Worse, he'd begun using the fake injury to avoid emotional challenges too—difficult conversations with students, confronting lazy colleagues, standing up for his principles. The physical pretense had trained him to retreat from any discomfort. When the department chair offered him a leadership role, Arthur instinctively reached for his hip and started to decline, realizing with horror that his fake limitation had become a real cage.
The Road
The road Caelius walked in ancient Rome, Arthur walks today in academia. The pattern is identical: pretending to have limitations to avoid responsibility gradually creates those very limitations in reality.
The Map
Arthur can use this awareness to audit his behaviors and ask which performances are becoming permanent. He can choose to embody what he wants to become rather than what feels convenient in the moment.
Amplification
Before reading this, Arthur might have continued using fake limitations without recognizing the long-term cost. Now he can NAME the pattern of becoming what we pretend to be, PREDICT where his performances lead, and NAVIGATE by consciously choosing which roles to embody.
You now have the context. Time to form your own thoughts.
Discussion Questions
- 1
What happened to the people who faked illnesses in Montaigne's stories, and why is this significant?
analysis • surface - 2
Why does Montaigne think our pretending can become our reality? What's the mechanism behind this transformation?
analysis • medium - 3
Where do you see people 'becoming what they pretend to be' in modern workplaces, relationships, or social media?
application • medium - 4
How would you use this knowledge to deliberately shape who you become, while avoiding the trap of harmful pretending?
application • deep - 5
What does Montaigne's insight about self-deception reveal about why it's so hard for people to change or see their own flaws clearly?
reflection • deep
Critical Thinking Exercise
Track Your Performance Patterns
List three roles or behaviors you 'perform' regularly—at work, at home, or socially. For each one, identify whether this performance is moving you toward who you want to become or away from it. Consider both positive performances (acting confident when you're not) and negative ones (playing helpless to avoid responsibility).
Consider:
- •Notice which performances feel automatic versus deliberate
- •Consider how others respond to your performances and reinforce them
- •Think about which masks might be becoming your actual face
Journaling Prompt
Write about one performance you've been maintaining that might be shaping you in ways you don't want. What would happen if you stopped this performance tomorrow?
Coming Up Next...
Chapter 82: The Power of Thumbs
The coming pages reveal small physical details carry enormous cultural meaning, and teach us understanding symbols helps you navigate social situations. These discoveries help us navigate similar situations in our own lives.